This post was updated April 6 at 9:16 p.m.

Warning: spoilers ahead.

“A Minecraft Movie” is far from a diamond in the rough – it’s just rough.

Director Jared Hess’ blockbuster adaptation of “Minecraft,” the bestselling video game of all time, arrived in theaters Friday, putting a bow on the indie success story’s record-breaking rise to the mainstream. Co-producer Jason Momoa stars as washed-up gamer Garrett, who, alongside misfits Henry (Sebastian Hansen), Natalie (Emma Myers) and Dawn (Danielle Brooks), winds up in the world of “Minecraft” – here presented as an alternate dimension made entirely of cubes. There, the group encounters Steve (Jack Black), an experienced builder who must help them return to Earth. Unfortunately, despite a greatly expanded scope, none of the original game’s imaginative wonder is present here. Even with a vast amount of talent and resources to mine from, the minds behind “A Minecraft Movie” have crafted nothing but soulless corporate slop.

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Look no further than the generic plot. Despite the infinite directions a story set in the “Minecraft” universe could have taken, the filmmakers opt for the most by-the-numbers creative choice possible at every juncture. This movie has all of Hollywood’s most cherished standbys: The heroes and villains run through lame action set piece after lame action set piece, chasing after the MacGuffin. The third act culminates in a battle between two CGI armies. Momoa’s character seemingly sacrifices himself for the others, only to inexplicably reappear at the 11th hour to save the day. The list goes on and on.

Astoundingly, despite the film’s decently short 101-minute runtime, so many scenes feel like total wastes of time. The worst offender is a subplot revolving around a side character played by Jennifer Coolidge that is so pointless it isn’t resolved until an admittedly chuckle-worthy mid-credits scene. There’s also the entirety of the first act, which takes place in the heroes’ dinky Idaho hometown. So much time is spent here, and almost none of it matters because the characters are all utterly flat. Momoa and Hansen’s characters have extremely flimsy arcs, but it’s Myers and Brooks who draw the short end of the stick – their characters are so inconsequential that they’re unceremoniously left out of much of the second act.

The lone standout of the cast is Rachel House, who delivers a menacingly hilarious vocal performance as movie-original villain Malgosha. Otherwise, the acting feels incredibly phoned in, with uninspired displays across the board. The worst offender is undoubtedly Black, who isn’t truly playing a character at all, just himself prancing around and occasionally singing in a cheap cosplay. While Momoa and Black have undeniable on-screen chemistry, they’re the only performers who do, and even then, they’re hindered by the movie’s often cringeworthy attempts at comedy.

Director Hess is known for his quirky style of humor, having previously directed hit comedies such as “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Nacho Libre,” and there are points when the film’s absurdist whimsy clicks. But all too often, the filmmakers will instead resort to a character dramatically declaring the name of an item from “Minecraft” to elicit a cheap laugh from the audience. Or worse, they’ll reference soon-to-be-outdated internet memes – Black opens the film with the already infamous line, “As a child, I yearned for the mines,” and one character is literally named Chungus. Yes, really.

Visually, the movie is a mess. Translating the game’s simplistic graphics to the big screen was always going to be a challenge, but the final result leaves much to be desired. It’s garish. It’s grotesque. It’s frankly embarrassing, considering there are decade-old amateur YouTube animations that look significantly better. Creatures that were once cute and cuddly are rendered here in nightmarishly realistic CGI, and the game’s breathtaking environments are recreated via obvious green screen – which may help to explain the poor acting.

However, it’s in its themes that the movie falls the flattest. “A Minecraft Movie” has five credited screenwriters, and one can conclude that none of them have ever heard of the “show, don’t tell” rule. Rather than organically working the film’s message into the script, the writers implement painfully clumsy narration to explain exactly what the lesson is, resulting in morals that come across as heavy-handed at best and hypocritical at worst. Black’s speech during the film’s climax is an ode to creativity – something “A Minecraft Movie” fails to demonstrate at all turns. And it’s ironic that its villains are characterized by their endless, all-consuming avarice when this movie is so clearly the result of corporate greed.

Still, amid the many flaws, genuine passion for “Minecraft” and its community occasionally manages to shine through, and these moments are always welcome. Interspersed throughout the otherwise forgettable score are iconic tunes from the game – a rare example of fan service that actually feels earned. And it’s impossible to hate the unsubtle, but sweet, tribute to the late YouTube legend Technoblade during the second act.

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Nonetheless, these moments are exceptions, not the rule. “A Minecraft Movie” features everything one would expect a “Minecraft” adaptation to include – creepers, endermen, diamonds, TNT – but it is totally uninterested in doing anything but the bare minimum with them. In the end, the film’s title is misleading. It isn’t “A Minecraft Movie” at all, just a mediocre Jason Momoa and Jack Black-led buddy comedy shambling around in a “Minecraft”-shaped skin suit.

Prospective viewers would be better off just playing “Minecraft.”