Rules to live by: floss daily, leave the toilet seat down, spin
around in your chair three times before you salt chicken, knock on
your car window when you’re passing through a yellow light
and/or passing a car with one headlight, and of course, yell
“Run, Forrest, run” when you see somebody running.

When musicians become actors, what happens?
Is it like when basketball players become baseball players
(let’s hope not)? Or more like when actors run for political
office (eek!)?

Sorry folks, but I have something to admit, as it turns out that
I haven’t been entirely “¦ straightforward. It all ends
here. I can’t live this lie any longer.

I remember when I was younger and I saw “Beverly Hills
Cop” for the first time. I remember thinking that there was
nobody that I wanted to be more than a smart-assed, fast-talking,
gun-toting, foul-mouthed Axel Foley.

Jerry Springer’s done it. Howard Stern has kind of done
it. And now, the people of MTV’s “Jackass” are
doing it.
Okay, I will admit, I have been prone to laugh sometimes at the
oddities that transpire on “Jackass.” Okay, I’ll
admit it, I laughed a lot.

This past weekend could have been the biggest not-big-movie
weekend ever. “Whaaaa? Kenny’s flipped his lid!”
you might say. But see, check this out.
Though “Red Dragon” and “Sweet Home
Alabama” may have dominated the box office this weekend,
there was a whole plethora, or perhaps better put, a multitude, of
potential sleeper hits.

OK let’s just get things straight. Something seriously
screwy is going on here.
I haven’t seen “The Fast and the Furious.” I
haven’t seen “XXX.” I will not see
“Knock-around Guys.”
But Vin Diesel is kicking ass around the box office.

They don’t make summer like they used to.
I remember the buzz of summer from my youth. The days when all I
did was run amok, go swimming, and watch summer movies.