Don’t get me wrong ““ I love Lindsay Lohan.
I’ve probably seen “Mean Girls” more times than I
could count; I bought her album the day it came out; and I even
once briefly entertained the idea of dying my hair red just because
it made her look so vivacious.

I swear, if I see Ty Pennington build one more house for some
stupid, underprivileged, down-on-their-luck family, I’m going
to rip out every spike of hair on his goofy head and hit him in the
face with his own tool belt.

I’m pretty sure Britney Spears has officially lost it. If
her new show, “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic,” is any
indication, then the girl is slipping into Michael Jackson levels
of insanity faster than even than the King of Pop himself.

The “Star Wars” Geek: For some, the term can be
insulting; for others, empowering. But for most, it’s just
downright embarrassing.
“You don’t want the first thing people know about
you to be that you love “˜Star Wars,’” said
second-year economics student Marshall Jaquish.

They flew out all the way from Florida. Ten hours, two layovers
and one crappy on-flight bag of peanuts later, a conservatively
dressed middle-aged housewife and her balding husband had arrived
at their final destination: a live taping of “America
Idol.”
OK, I know I wrote about “American Idol” in my last
column, but I can’t help it; I’m obsessed.

I’m normally not one to watch classic television. Growing
up, I always hated when my favorite kids’ channel Nickelodeon
transformed into Nick at Nite and old re-runs of “The
Honeymooners” or “Bewitched” came on.

I love the Oxygen Network.
I know, it’s an entire channel dedicated to women’s
programming, but I can’t get enough of it.
It doesn’t stop there.

Everybody hates being dumped. And there’s no worse place
to be dumped than on national television.
That’s why when people go on those reality dating shows,
they want to be the dater, rather than the “datee.”
When you’re the dater, you’re the one who gets to
dismiss, reject, humiliate and, of course, ultimately choose the
contestant you mesh with the best and gallop off into the romantic
sunset together.

Who else caught a glimpse of the heaps of screaming short guys,
holding hands and yelling things in Greek, running around Westwood?
The scene I saw this weekend can only mean one thing: last week was
Rush Week on campus.

They say that nothing reveals a person’s true self more
than the people with whom they surround themselves. That’s
why American heroes such as Hugh Hefner get to hang out with
beautiful, half-naked blondes all day long and people like Britney
Spears get married to people like Kevin Federline.