I knew hardly anything about college sports when I graduated high school.

But it didn’t take long to learn that UCLA was not a football school.

Yet for the fourth year in a row, I’m optimistic about the Bruins – even if they are 16-21 and on their fourth head coach since I’ve made it to Westwood.

Doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results is the definition of insanity, but I, with or without a tinfoil hat, am jumping up and down screaming that coach Bob Chesney is different.

Regardless of the outcome, however, it’s been nine months since UCLA played a football game and I am ready to be hurt again.

Like many, I was bullish on then-freshman quarterback Dante Moore in 2023. And the five-star recruit from Detroit has seemingly lived up to the hype. He’s one of three players to grace the cover of EA Sports College Football 27 and is the starting signal caller for the No. 2 team in the AP preseason rankings.

Of course, Moore’s blossoming all came with Oregon – transferring to be Dillon Gabriel’s understudy just two days after UCLA’s season ended.

In the blue and gold, Moore had just a 53.5% completion rate for 1,610 yards with 11 total touchdowns and nine interceptions – all while then-head coach Chip Kelly played musical chairs with Moore, Ethan Garbers and Collin Schlee under center.

Having not experienced Kelly’s first five seasons with the program, I remained open to a UCLA program with the once-revolutionary Oregon coach at the helm. Unfortunately, by season’s end, I may have been the only soul with any optimism – even Kelly thought it was time to leave town.

He took a demotion in Columbus and immediately won the 2024 national championship as Ohio State’s offensive coordinator.

I’m still searching for meaning in the Bruins’ last two seasons, but just about everyone in college football has probably already forgotten they even happened.

Under the pressure of a self-imposed 96-hour deadline, Martin Jarmond hired former Bruin running back and long-time coach on Kelly’s Westwood staff DeShaun Foster.

Foster was unceremoniously fired after a 0-3 start in 2025, leaving him with a 5-10 record at UCLA.

The struggles were hardly surprising. Foster had no previous head coaching or coordinator experience and inherited the remains of Kelly’s tumultuous program.

What did surprise me, though, was how quickly Jarmond pulled the plug, seemingly destroying what little momentum Foster had created.

I had high hopes for Eric Bieniemy. His two Super Bowl rings with the Kansas City Chiefs and emphatic personality on the field made it easier to gloss over his lack of coaching success at the collegiate level and lackluster campaign with the Washington Commanders in 2023.

[RELATED: Dizon’s Disposition: Bieniemy returns to collegiate ranks with something left to prove]

But with Foster and Bieniemy – both former NFL running backs – heading the program and offense, respectively, the Bruins had the third-worst rushing offense in the FBS.

Like Moore, all Bieniemy needed was to get out of Westwood.

The Chicago Bears, with Bieniemy as their running backs coach, averaged the third most rushing yards in the NFL per game in 2025 – behind only the Baltimore Ravens and Buffalo Bills.

Bieniemy even got his old gig back as the Chiefs’ offensive coordinator in January.

Foster turned around and hired Indiana’s Tino Sunseri as his offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach.

But that experiment failed too.

Sunseri, in his first role as the sole offensive coordinator, parted ways with the Bruins after just four games – all losses.

Just like Bieniemy, it didn’t take long for Sunseri to find himself back in his old role. In February, Indiana – fresh off its first-ever national title, coming in just coach Curt Cignetti’s second season with the program – rehired Sunseri as its quarterbacks coach and co-offensive coordinator.

Jarmond’s first attempt, and failure, at cheating off the Hoosiers’ exam may raise doubt and red flags, with the athletic director having now gone and hired a former James Madison head coach who seems to win everywhere he goes.

But at least the method to the madness points away from Wile E. Coyote and more toward logical sense.

If you want the Krabby Patty secret formula and you can’t have SpongeBob, the next best thing is going to be finding a SpongeBob of your own, not kidnapping Squidward.

Hiring Chesney meant UCLA landed its No. 1 target – not a washed-up head coach that the program prays has a renaissance, but a coach that knows how to make things happen immediately.

Perhaps what set Foster up for failure was his promise to bring UCLA back to its former glory. While it’s true the Bruins used to frequent eight-plus-win seasons and even appear in the Rose Bowl Game – a feat they haven’t accomplished since the 1998 season – a 180-degree turnaround at this point would mean breaking new ground. A winning UCLA football program in 2026 can’t look like the program that was holding its weight in the ‘80s.

James Madison won its first bowl game in 2024, Chesney’s first season in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and its first Sun Belt Conference title in 2025 – leading to the program’s first College Football Playoff appearance.

Yeah, the Dukes were squashed by the Ducks 51-34 – in a game they trailed 34-6 at halftime.

But at least Cignetti lost his first CFP game, too.

The Bruins have gone 0-for-3 the past three seasons and with the past three head coaches.

Luckily, this is football.

Even with three strikes, you can convert on fourth down.