Unlike most of my work at the Daily Bruin, I started writing this column early.

On the other hand, I turned in my fall intern application freshman year an hour before the deadline. My arts assistant editorship application was submitted exactly four minutes before it was due. And the questions for my interview with the director of the movie “Bottoms”? I came up with them on the spot.

Nonetheless, I promise I never missed a real deadline – though sometimes it came close. Yet even as a contributor exploring what it means to write for this paper, it’s hard not to feel like you’re running out of time to get to the caliber that the Bruin demands.

I still remember getting the draft of my first-ever feature back. Arrogantly, I thought that being editor-in-chief of my high school paper would give me an advantage. I was severely humbled seeing my precious article saturated with bold edits.

But I’ll also never forget the satisfaction of seeing the final version in print, with “Daily Bruin contributor” right under my name. Knowing how much work went into it from the start made that win so much sweeter.

Needless to say, the Daily Bruin changed my life.

It motivated me to take a class with the Bruin’s adviser, which in turn inspired me to add a second major to my studies. I’ve seen some of my top artists live in the name of music journalism. I got to interview my favorite SNL alum, Oscar nominees and the “Ted Lasso” cast, all while learning about what drives artistry and innovation directly from the minds of my creative heroes.

Those conversations taught me a lot about the marriage of intent and impact.

It was a privilege to be entrusted with the stories and hopes of the UCLA community while refining what lifestyle meant – the least-defined of the three arts beats. I learned that I didn’t have to cast a wide net just to land any pitch, but I could use my platform to empower people who might not otherwise get to share their dreams with a wider audience.

Editorship had its perks, but it wasn’t always easy.

We struggled to rebuild the arts section in our first quarter at the helm. To this day, the rattle of the Slack notification still rouses me from deep sleep.

I navigated people politics through trial and error. I didn’t have time for the long-term projects I envisioned. It was imperfect – that’s what made it special.

Many have described the windowless Kerckhoff 118 as hellish, but it will always be the first place where I had purpose and called home.

It was there that I made lifelong memories and felt the warm embrace of this community. I may not recall the names of sources who ghosted me (except for Malala – yes, the Malala), but here’s what I do remember.

I remember giddily telling an intern that their first story made it to the front page of the paper. I remember intense pop culture debates in the office and photoshopping new Slackmojis when we should have been checking CQs. I remember cackling at the #arts-wall-quotes channel (created and managed by yours truly) and its egregious out of context snippets.

I remember seeing “Barbie” three months early with Graci and Talia, seated behind Greta Gerwig. I remember the first iteration of the now-infamous chicken eating competition and other socials across sections where we got to be twenty-something year olds and not journalists on a deadline – if only for a few hours.

I’ll miss being inspired by fellow staffers and their fierce commitment to the Bruin’s mission of upholding truth, even when they faced opposition, especially in the spring of 2024. I will always be proud to have had my name on this masthead alongside some of the most determined, generous people I’ve ever known.

Thank you to the editors who gave me a home in Arts during my very first quarter. I am forever grateful to the writers who came to my assignment desks, asked for advice and trusted me to edit their stories. You taught me so much about what it means to be not just a good mentor, but a good person.

I am particularly indebted to those who were not just colleagues, but friends. Thank you especially to Talia, Graci, Sanjana, Megan, Reid, Alexis, Olivia, Victoria, Christine, Joseph, David and so many more. Your endless kindness and laughter in and out of Kerckhoff 118 grounded me more than you may ever know.

I like to think we’re mosaics of the people we’ve known and loved, and I’ll carry all that I’ve learned from you with me, far beyond Westwood.

For future staffers stalking old -30- columns (I know this because I was once in your shoes), here’s some advice. The Daily Bruin is defined by deadlines, be they for applications, stories or edits. You’ll rush to get drafts in or respond to messages and if you get to see things from an editor’s perspective, you’ll learn about all of the other due dates that loom over this paper.

That’s hardly something to fear; it’s what propels any good publication forward.

But what you won’t realize, until it is nearly too late, is that there is also a deadline on your tenure here.

And now, despite a full four years, I wish I had more time.

Lagrimas was Arts senior staff 2023-2025, Lifestyle editor 2022-2023 and an Arts contributor 2021-2022.