This post was updated March 2 at 8:32 p.m.

Psychoanalytic thinker and author Adam Phillips presented ideas about kindness, mental health and psychoanalysis Thursday.

Phillips, a former child psychotherapist, spoke with UCLA professors David Russell and Mona Simpson about his untraditional opinions on psychoanalysis at the Landmark Westwood theater. His book “On Kindness,” co-written with Barbara Taylor, guided the discussion and covered the intellectual history of kindness, Russell said. 

“When we are kind to other people, or they are kind to us, our lives are happier,” Phillips said. “It seems to me so obviously a pleasure, and therefore it’s a mystery why people aren’t extremely consistently kind to each other and to themselves.”

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On the topic of becoming a child psychoanalyst, Phillips said he was initially discouraged by the negativity behind psychoanalytic theory. Psychoanalysis often focuses on how people are discontent with themselves and hate life, Phillips added, with the conclusion that life is a losing game. Phillips said he believes the field fails to properly identify why people continue living when there is so much suffering. Literature in psychoanalysis does not discuss how people appreciate the impact of others, he added.

Lucas Murphy, an attendee of the event, said he thought Phillips’ writing process was untraditional and insightful. Simpson said during another talk Thursday that Phillips said he only writes on Wednesdays, and he spends the rest of the weekdays working on analysis. He never intended to become a writer and instead wanted to be a reader, Phillips added. He also said he barely revises. Instead, he reads over what he wrote and if it sounds fine, he leaves his writing unedited. Writing is a collaborative project, with people reading one’s writing and providing feedback, Phillips said.

Additionally, Phillips said his book collaborations with other writers are a result of conversations. Often, one person will write a book, and another person will want to respond, he added. After one person writes their part individually, the other person reviews it, not to change the original writer’s work but to reply to it, Phillips said. Consequently, he said he and his collaborators do not aim to write a book with one style.

Evelyn Cantacuzène-Spéransky, another attendee of the event, said she was intrigued by Phillips’ suggestion to think less of oneself. When one is depressed or anxious, Phillips said they are likely thinking about themselves frequently and how they feel stagnant in life. He added that being able to no longer fixate on oneself is useful and can be accomplished by thinking about other people and the world. Cantacuzène-Spéransky said she interpreted his recommendation to think about oneself less as enabling one to be kinder to others.

“You are moving away from yourself into perhaps another realm where you are giving,” Cantacuzène-Spéransky said. “You’re not so aware of yourself. You’re more aware of how you can help others.”

During the event’s Q&A session, another attendee asked why Phillips thought using case studies in psychoanalytic writing is cruel since it is considered conventional when learning about psychoanalysis. Phillips said he thought it was wrong to use his patients’ stories because patients have not consented for their experiences to be written about or published for the public to read.

“It seems to me to be intrinsically exploitative under the guise of being scientifically useful,” Phillips said. “We should reassure people we actually see that we are not going to write about. We’re not going to do this to further something of ourselves.”

Earlier in the Q&A session, attendee Todd Hanson asked Phillips what he thought were the accelerants of loneliness and anxiety in the United States. Phillips said part of the answer may be related to capitalism, which emphasizes competition over collaboration. Additionally, after the COVID-19 pandemic, people may find it more difficult to attend group events and interact with each other, Hanson added after the talk. Addressing concerns about poor mental health should be a priority, Hanson said, as it can ease mental health struggles and polarization.

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While reflecting after the event, Hanson said he thought Phillips’ remarks on how kindness is intuitive and easy were surprising. Hanson added that Phillips’ approach of thinking about kindness as inward instead of more outward was new to him. Kindness to oneself means that one is not unnecessarily disciplinary or limiting of oneself, Phillips said. He added that being kind to oneself is different for everyone and that parenting can encourage this behavior. Importantly, Phillips said being kind can be considered universal.

“It’s fantastically easy to be kind if you want to be,” Phillips said. “The word ‘kind’ refers to the fact that we are all of the same kind.”