Movie Review: ‘Winter’s Tale’

Don’t be fooled – “Winter’s Tale” has no association with the often-adapted William Shakespeare play “The Winter’s Tale,” in which one of the supporting characters is indiscriminately chased off stage by a bear. No, what the movie “Winter’s Tale” has in store is far more ridiculous.

With it, screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, who previously won an Academy Award for writing “A Beautiful Mind,” and earned the disdain of fans everywhere for adapting “Batman & Robin” and “The Da Vinci Code,” brings forth his directorial debut. The film’s inclusion of a large number of big-name stars does not add value to “Winter’s Tale,” and the events portrayed are completely outlandish.

It starts off incoherently – Peter Lake (Colin Farrell), who as a child was sent to America on a model boat by his parents for a better life, is a young thief who breaks into the house of Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay), a younger girl with tuberculosis who is expected to be near death. They instantly fall in love, heading off to Beverly’s winter lake house together with her family.

Meanwhile, Irish gangster/demon Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe) has a vision that Peter will use his “miracle” – every human gets one, apparently – to save a red-haired girl’s life. He hunts Peter for a fair while, only to lose the chase to Peter’s new friend, a white winged stallion deemed his guardian angel.

The plot continues in similarly ludicrous fashion through the trials of romance and the miracles of love. Halfway through the film, Peter travels a century into the future, meeting a present-day mother (Jennifer Connelly) and daughter whom he easily charms and befriends. “Winter’s Tale” intends to be more schmaltzy than silly, letting the characters defy logic for the sake of good or evil.

Or does it? It’s near impossible not to stifle a groan at some point during “Winter’s Tale,” from the opening line decreeing that “magic is everywhere” to its poster’s tagline, “This is not a true story. This is true love.” Much of the movie can be passed off as the willing execution of terrible ideas, a fairy tale trying far too hard to be a fairy tale, perhaps for warm feelings and laughs.

And it doesn’t entirely fail at that, at least. Crowe’s Irish accent and his frequent grunting stings humorously, and the use of a little girl’s handmade “princess bed” as a main plot point takes all remaining seriousness out of the equation. Had “Winter’s Tale” toned down the suspended emotional moments and increased the fun awkwardness, maybe something didactically passable could have arisen from the sappiness.

But “Winter’s Tale” is probably the most notable, and questionably most original, Valentine’s Day movie this year, purely due to its director. Goldsman is somehow able to bring together a small cavalcade of interesting stars, including William Hurt, Matt Bomer, Eva Marie Saint and a fantastic stunt actor playing Lucifer who is better left as a surprise. The ensemble makes the best of the material, the quality of which unfortunately makes all parties involved seem that much more desperate.

Goldsman tries to put his spin on romantic dramas by playing around with style, for better or worse. For better, he uses light as a symbol, occasionally playing on Beverly’s fever-induced state with lens flare. For worse, he dresses everyone in black coats and bland dresses, giving the movie’s color palette a wave of murkiness. It evens out in the end to a dull, forgettable design.

Though it has a few redeeming factors that would make an ordinary movie more blissfully amusing, “Winter’s Tale” is no ordinary movie. It is a manifestation of craziness that an unusual amount of talented people thought was a good idea. But hey, it’s Valentine’s Day. What does reason and quality matter when there’s love in the air. And, apparently, flying horses.