Show your mate a little respect in the bedroom

After seeing two guys bulldoze an old lady to get to the alcohol
at Ralphs last week, it dawned on us that the meaning of
“polite” has been lost on our generation.

Even though nobody needs to be knights in shining armor or
Stepford wives, we still need to keep our manners while in the
alcohol aisle and, just as importantly, in the bedroom.

Over two dozen students we interviewed told us that guys and
girls alike are being inconsiderate of one another, and everyone
had grievances. To clarify that this isn’t just a one-sided
rant against men, we did an equal number of interviews with both
sexes, but the responses we got from the girls were more varied
than the men ““ who pretty much all disliked the same
thing.

To begin, let’s talk about the widespread game of
“blow job tug-of-war.” Most women have experienced this
head-pushing game where men literally force their partner’s
head down to get what they want. Women do not need directions
““ we’ll find our way if that is where we’re
going.

On top of the pushing, pleading for fellatio after she declines
is a turnoff, and ““ let’s face it ““ you’ll
become a cautionary tale she’ll repeat to all of her hot
friends. Instead of roughly demanding this favor, either ask nicely
or set a good example for what you’d like. Don’t let
your horny expectations overcome your respect for the person
you’re with.

Men had complaints, too, mostly about women not finishing or
stopping in the middle of what they had started. To be blunt, guys
don’t appreciate when a girl begins to fool around but leaves
the man hanging (or rather, the opposite) with no finale or hope in
sight.

“Blueballs are real, and it hurts. Feel the pain,”
said Chris Bald, a second-year business-economics student and
self-proclaimed “sexual studies minor.” Most guys
agreed that if a girl has “jizz-phobia,” the very least
they could do was politely contribute a helping hand at the
end.

Contraceptives were another common topic. According to the
Planned Parenthood Web site, women are currently nearly as likely
as men to buy and carry condoms. Furthermore, the National
Women’s Health Resource Center published statistics online
showing that 18 million American women currently use some type of
birth control pill, up from 10.4 million in 1995.

This eagerness to protect ourselves is great, but unfortunately,
it seems women are now expected to buy and supply condoms and take
the pill. In many cases, the women we spoke with mentioned the many
times they had been expected to bring protection as an alternative
to the man leaving to borrow one. Come on guys, it’s your
penis, and it’s rude to assume we’re going to pay for
all of the contraceptives.

And while we’re on the money issue, guys are tired of
being expected to pay for every date beyond the initial few. While
guys weren’t against paying for the first dinner, all college
students are poor, and we need to help each other out. Maybe in the
sex utopia land where we all compromise, women can take their men
out more often and guys can pitch in for condoms.

Beyond the in-the-act complaints, many women interviewed wanted
the conventional and even stereotypical cuddling afterward (or at
least hanging out for a little while).

“It’s not cool if you leave immediately afterward.
There just needs to be a chill-out period,” said Chanel
Smith, a third-year molecular, cellular and developmental biology
student.

Something simple that both sexes are guilty of is using
electronics in the bedroom, and not the ones your dirty mind just
thought of. We rudely answer cell phones and watch our favorite TV
program instead of devoting our complete attention to our partners
and the fun at hand.

Our fast-paced society has made it easy to forget that other
people have preferences, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves
to care about someone other than ourselves. It’s easy to
forget the well-mannered lyrics of Marvin Gaye’s
“Let’s Get it On” when we’ve got Snoop
Dogg’s “Ain’t no Fun” playing on our
iPods.

The bottom line is that we all need to be more considerate of
each other, in and out of the bedroom. Be polite to people you care
about, or who you care about getting busy with. Speak up when
something bothers you and vocalize what it is you want.

In the end, everyone should value themselves enough to know they
deserve respect, cordial treatment in bed and, above all, not to be
shoved at Ralphs. Kick some ass, grandma ““ you deserve
it.

If you want us to take you out to dinner, e-mail us at
[email protected] and [email protected].