10th week studying at Starbucks a sport

I survey the room. On my left, Bored Girl is shuffling her
papers. Up the two stairs to my right, Polo Boy is turning his
laptop off. Where to go? I place my bets with Bored Girl.

“Hey, are you leaving?” I ask her politely.

“No,” she says. I swear there was a glint of
satisfaction in her eye.

Meanwhile, Polo Boy has left, and his spot is already taken.

That’s right ““ it’s 10th week at
Starbucks.

An outsider might not think of this nonchalant corner coffee
shop as one of the hottest spots in Westwood this time of the year,
but those of us who practically live there know better. Busier than
a movie premiere and more packed than Thursday nights at Brew Co.,
right about now Starbucks is the place to be.

But staking a claim at a table requires more than studious
persistence. I say it takes athleticism.

If you’re a Starbucks-studier, you know exactly what
I’m talking about. If you’re not, the following is a
taste of the 10th week Starbucks experience, best timed at around 8
p.m. on a weeknight.

First, there’s the inclination to pull some wrestling
moves on the USC kids who have to come all the way to Westwood to
study … oh wait, not this quarter; we’re the only school in
Los Angeles still in session.

But at other points in the year, I just want to kick them out.
We’re the smart kids, let us study! And get that awful color
combination of crimson and gold out of my sight, it’s
incredibly distracting.

But back to what I was talking about.

Entering this establishment requires the foresight of a
quarterback scanning the field for open receivers. Clearly you
don’t want to be the psycho who screams, “That’s
my table!” from across the room. But predicting the actions
of others is the key to being the first to grab a deserted
table.

However, under no circumstances do you want to be The Hoverer,
those looming figures who stand over tables, hoping their shadows
might induce those seated to leave. Thank you, but I’m not
moving.

The appropriate areas to wait for a table ““ by the front
doors or by the two steps leading to the “upstairs”
““ are similar to home plate from which you’ve got to
sprint to first … but this time, with an obstacle course on the
way.

Or maybe a better analogy would be comparing the zigzag trek
through tables with students, backpacks and hot coffee as akin to
the agility needed by a steeplechase competitor.

Once seated, the patience and stamina of a distance runner will
get you through long hours of studying ““ you have gone to
such great lengths to acquire this table, so you damn well better
make the most of it.

All that is necessary is a grande (in my case) sugar-free
vanilla latté. But you’ll need the strength of a
bodybuilder to swallow Starbucks’ prices. Four dollars for a
cup of coffee? Are you joking?

Of course, in the name of academics, we all pay it anyway.

After your arduous study-fest, there is the walk home.
Regardless of where you live in Westwood, that walk is bound to be
uphill. After studying for endless hours, it’s like the
post-race trek of a weary triathlete back to the car.

So, here we go ““ 10th and finals weeks are upon us.

I say Club Powell is a boring and all-too-predictable study
spot. Keep it interesting ““ try to grab a spot at
Starbucks.

I’ll be there if you want to challenge a pro.

Sugar-free vanilla lattés? Newman’s editors are
disgusted. E-mail her with your caffeinated drink suggestions at
[email protected].