Boredom breeds hype-buoyed ‘SC rivalry

Beat ‘SC Week! How exciting! It’s the annual chance
for UCLA students to release unresolved anger toward their parents
under the guise of college rivalry. I know hatred toward USC is
bred into us as early as Welcome Week, but I’m sorry,
I’m not buying it. For every UCLA student painted head-to-toe
in blue and yellow, there is another one applying to USC for
graduate school.

What’s so bad about USC? Let’s keep it real; they
are better looking than we are. And where are you more likely to
see a UCLA-alumni license-plate holder, on a new BMW or on a 1989
Toyota Corolla?

We all have friends or family members who go there. They might
sit across from us at the Coliseum and shake their car keys at us,
but they’re probably giving us a ride home. (It’s not
out of the way; they all hang out in Westwood anyway.)

I think the rivalry is a lot of hype. Nowadays, nobody on campus
actually hates USC. In fact, there are probably more similarities
between the schools than any campus tour guide is going to admit.
USC students buy their grades; we argue for ours. They come to
Westwood to go to Diddy Riese; we go to their campus to get our car
stereos installed. They pay more tuition, but it’s probably
about the same once we pay rent. We both have fight songs that have
been severely overplayed for decades. Deep down, we know that we
are all the same. Besides, we’re college students ““ we
spend way too much time thinking about ourselves to care about
what’s going on across town.

So where does this rivalry truly exist? It’s alive and
kicking only in the hearts of the alumni, and that is because
college rivalry is the only socially acceptable hate. Hating your
wife? Bad idea. Hating your coworkers? Frowned upon. Hating your
cross-town rivals? Very loyal.

Additionally, people in the workplace are bored with their lives
and crave the excitement of competition. The answer to that problem
is simple ““ office intramural teams. Blow off steam after
work at the file clerks v. accountants Ultimate Frisbee game. Who
has time to worry about USC when you have to take on everyone in
the mail room? Once the monotony of office life is broken up by
team meetings and cheap trophies, I think we will see the UCLA/USC
rivalry slowly dissipate.

In fact, most rivalries are the result of a few bored
individuals looking for an outlet. Like kids who toilet paper their
own house because they can’t think of anything else to do,
UCLA students would probably play pranks on themselves if they
didn’t have USC toward which to direct the pranks.

Southern California gets a lot of negative attention; the last
thing we should be doing is turning against each other. If we can
get past the rivalry, USC could end up being one of our greatest
allies if we ever want to team up and take on one of our real
enemies, such as the entertainment industry, the Ivy Leagues or
Canada.

But, in the meantime, go Bruins.

Davis is a fourth-year communication studies
student.