I finished my freshman year before realizing that my younger brother was my ultimate idol.

My brother is the happiest person I know, and the running joke in our family is that it’s because he succumbs easily to quick dopamine boosts through instant gratification. Although I spent years filled with pride that I was more future-oriented, that soon began to wither away with time. Like him, I have learned the importance of finding satisfaction in the present.

Although I changed my major from philosophy to political science, I like to believe I retained some wisdom. Thus, I want to share a lesson I learned during my first year as a Bruin: Do not delay happiness or associate it with achievement.

Instead, find happiness even when things are missing in your life – a lesson I learned through my friendships at UCLA.

Overwhelmed by nerves, excitement and anticipation at the start of my first quarter of college, my main goal was to acclimate to UCLA’s novelty. I wanted to develop a connection with my roommates and suitemates, find familiarity with the people in my dorm, understand the beliefs and values held by those in my major and determine the types of people I enjoy spending time with.

As time passed, my roommates and suitemates unintentionally learned each other’s showering schedules. I could distinguish between Rieber Vista residents and residents of other dormitories.

I admired not only the intelligence but also the diverse knowledge of my fellow political science students and professors. I enjoyed engaging in meaningful conversations with fellow Bruins.

However, despite a seemingly successful first few weeks, I still was unsatisfied with my relationships and wanted to cultivate closer connections.

I devoted my second quarter to this goal and even achieved it. In particular, one of my roommates and I became inseparable.

We bonded over our brothers having been on the same soccer team without our knowledge and the distressing experiences we had from past sports coaches. We laughed about how we thought similarly but acted differently.

We repeatedly and deliriously stumbled upon the same realization at 3 a.m. that teenage love will forever be a foreign concept to us. We memorized the Bruin Plate protein options together.

One of us watched the other have their first kiss. We complained we didn’t have money while dropping $50 at Target.

Most importantly, she and I thrived in comfortable silence, a sign of true friendship.

However, despite my unfathomable fortune in meeting her and having achieved my self-assigned goal from my first quarter, I still felt discontent.

I felt the need to branch out further.

In my third quarter, after numerous attempts of convincing myself it was somewhat of a necessity for my undergraduate career, I rushed a pre-law fraternity. I integrated myself even more into clubs I was already involved in.

I got dressed up and attended a picnic banquet for Activism Through Policy. Members of the Bruin Political Review transformed from extracurricular peers to college friends whom I hold dear.

I spent more time with friends of friends while connecting those I had become close to in one area of my UCLA life to those in other parts of it.

Compared to the first two quarters, I had undoubtedly widened my social circle by spring.

However, despite this, I was still unhappy. I found myself wanting the intimate connection I had with my smaller group of friends in high school.

I resolved a new issue quarterly only to have another one to tackle the following quarter.

Ultimately, I made the mistake of falsely presuming I would find absolute happiness in constantly changing my approach to friendships, whether it be having closer connections or knowing more people. I tied my happiness to external factors. My contentment was no longer an emotion I had voluntary control over.

Evidently, I had gotten myself into a continuous wild goose chase.

All aspects of life are hardly ever perfectly aligned with one’s ideal. Delaying happiness to meet an arbitrary standard results in sadness and defeat.

I learned that it is a vital, yet difficult, skill to remain optimistic despite the abundance of life’s obstacles – something my brother has effortlessly mastered.

Admittedly, there were times I did have momentary happiness, but because of my self-inflicted toxic mindset that there was always more to be accomplished, I felt undeserving.

If happiness is circumstantial, not only will joy rarely be felt, but a lack of appreciation for the fortunes one does have will fester instead. I have made incredible friendships with people who make me feel special enough to last a lifetime. Yet I fear I did not express enough gratitude.

Therefore, I leave you with a task in the pursuit of happiness.

Compare yourself with where you are now and where you were three years ago. Chances are, your past self would give a lot to be where you are now and be filled with so much pride.

After all, you now have relationships, memories, stories and milestones that you didn’t have before, things your past self could most likely hardly have ever imagined.

And that is something to be happy about.