Friday, March 29, 2024

AdvertiseDonateSubmit
NewsSportsArtsOpinionThe QuadPhotoVideoIllustrationsCartoonsGraphicsThe StackPRIMEEnterpriseInteractivesPodcastsBruinwalkClassifieds

Who Are We: Learning to accept my identity without strict labels inspired growth

(Katelyn Dang/Illustrations director)

By Sarah Karim

May 15, 2022 9:39 p.m.

Trying to fit in is never easy.

But when everyone tries to put you into boxes, it becomes even more difficult.

Since I moved often when I was younger, I became starkly aware of the differences between my identity and others’. As a young Muslim Bengali girl growing up in the Midwest, there weren’t many people who looked like me or understood my culture. However, when I embarked on my college journey, it became even more apparent that finding a place for myself would not be as simple as adhering to labels.

As a first-year transfer student, I felt my college experience was automatically cut short. Most of my peers had already established their community by their third year of college while I had just started to look.

Many people try to find their niche groups through shared identities and interests, and I tried to do the same. But no matter what group I associated with, it often felt like the other parts of who I am would have to be ignored. There was always a front I had to put up to fit in better with a particular group.

The idea that multiple identities regarding race, class, gender and sexuality intersect to create a unique set of experiences is known as intersectionality. I, like many other UCLA students, have struggled with navigating my intersectional identities through my college experience. Putting myself into strict categories was often limiting, yet felt expected of me.

This was a struggle I felt in almost all of my communities.

I’ve identified with the transfer community, but not every transfer has had the same experiences as me. Each transfer comes with their own circumstances and reasoning as to why they decided to transfer. We all share the experiences of transferring from another university, but all of our struggles differ based on our backgrounds.

The Muslim community is a similarly diverse group of individuals, all with different backgrounds and experiences. For example, Muslim women face a different experience than Muslim men, and Black Muslims also face different treatment within the community. As a Bengali Muslim who chooses to wear the hijab, I found that I related to many of my peers through what made us similar, but I also found that the differences could be stark.

I related to Muslim women in that we continually face judgment from members of our religion and outside of it. However, I often felt left out of the Arab majority at my mosque, especially since almost no one related to my experiences as a South Asian.

One of my most impactful identities as I navigate through college is my identity as a first-generation Bengali American. My experiences were greatly limited because of my upbringing, and I often felt like I had to erase my cultural experiences to look “normal.” It has taken a great deal of self-reflection to understand I don’t have to negotiate my cultural practices for the sake of pleasing others.

Every college student wants to find a community they can call their own. But there is more to an individual than being part of one small group. For example, it’s undeniable that a queer white person faces different experiences than a queer person of color.

According to a 2021 report by the UCLA Williams Institute, 27.7% of surveyed LGBTQ+ students of color reported serious cases of COVID-19 within their families compared to 17.4% of white LGBTQ+ students. In comparison, 23.1% of non-LGBTQ+ students of color reported life-threatening COVID-19 cases within their family and 10% of white non-LGBTQ+ students reported the same. While LGBTQ+ students faced more struggles compared to their nonqueer counterparts, queer students of color faced the most because of the combined structural barriers their identities present.

Each is valid in their standing within the LGBTQ+ community, but their experiences might still vastly differ.

It’s essential that students understand intersectionality or our differences will tear us apart before our similarities can bring us together.

I’ve found that the idea of fitting in with others in my community is about finding individuals who are comfortable with my authentic self. Strictly following the labels placed upon me and following others’ expectations will never truly allow me to belong anywhere.

While labels serve their own purpose and are essential to educating about identity, they don’t define an individual. All experiences are unique and should not be invalidated because they don’t fit neatly into society’s image.

Over time, I’ve come to realize people in my communities are like me, with a multitude of distinct experiences and identities. Although there are some I will never fully understand, it doesn’t mean I can’t respect and accept their perspectives. Their experiences are still valid.

And that’s OK. We just need to recognize that each of us is different, and it is through those differences that we will find one another.

Share this story:FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Sarah Karim
COMMENTS
Featured Classifieds
More classifieds »
Related Posts