UCLA graduate student Kjerstin Gruys is changing her body image by swearing off mirrors for a year
UCLA sociology graduate student Kjerstin Gruys is now five months into her yearlong experiment in staying mirror-free.
Credit: The Goodness Photography and Design
By Naheed Rajwani
Sept. 6, 2011 2:11 a.m.
From reflections in glass windows to the back of bathroom doors to dressing rooms, mirrors are embedded in American culture.
But one UCLA graduate student is cutting mirrors out of her daily routine entirely.
Kjerstin Gruys is now five months into her yearlong attempt to stay mirror-free. She applies makeup, gets dressed and walks to work every morning, all without looking at her own reflection.
“All of my mirrors at home are covered, but the minute I step out of my apartment, I have to be careful to look where I’m going because there are mirrors everywhere,” said Gruys, who is pursuing a graduate degree in sociology.
Reflective surfaces also count as mirrors, according to the rules listed in the blog Gruys keeps about her experience.
“If I am getting in and out of my car, sometimes I will start to see myself reflected in a car window and I just look away or I don’t focus on it,” Gruys said. “And that’s easy enough to do if you’re not wanting to look at yourself in the first place.”
The idea to give up mirrors came from Sarah Dunant’s “The Birth of Venus,” Gruys said. In the book, Italian nuns who follow strict regulations against vanity are not allowed to look at their own reflections.
Gruys herself struggled with anorexia in the past. She said she recovered from the eating disorder nearly ten years ago, but when she became engaged to be married this year, it triggered a fear of a relapse.
Shopping for wedding dresses, Gruys found herself being critical of her body.
“I felt like this was supposed to be a time where I felt really confident about myself and instead I felt that I was obsessing over my body,” Gruys said. “And as someone with a history of an eating disorder who had no intention of going back, I thought, “˜This isn’t a situation to ignore, it is a situation to fix.'”
That led to Gruys’ yearlong attempt to mend her weakening body image.
Gruys’ advisor, Abigail Saguy, is an associate professor of sociology at UCLA who has researched the fashion industry. Saguy there is an emphasis on appearances and on false images of thin, beautiful people that are shown to women and, increasingly, men.
From a young age, such images influence perceptions of the importance of beauty on individual worth, which often leads to attitudes of inadequacy and eating disorders, Saguy said.
By the time they reach their 40s and 50s, 90 percent of women are so unhappy with their image they avoid looking at themselves in mirrors, according to a study commissioned by online fashion retailer ISME in April.
Fourth-year economics student Kim Tran discovered Gruys’ blog after she overheard a friend talking about it. Tran said Gruys’ attempt has helped her become cautious of the time she spends in front of the mirror.
“Before reading this blog, I hadn’t really thought about mirrors and how they affect your body image,” Tran said. “Thinking about it, I realized that mirrors point out more flaws and this can be damaging to your self-esteem.”
Reaction from the public about the project has been mixed, Gruys said.
Some comments suggest she do things differently, like not wear makeup during the duration of the project, she said.
But Gruys said she never felt makeup had affected her mental health. She did, however, respond to critics by adding “no-makeup Mondays” to her experiment.
But other comments have been hurtful, she added.
“People have decided to leave comments on my blog saying that I am fat, stupid, crazy or ugly,” Gruys said. “The first few days when this happened I found it hurtful and upsetting, and then I realized that I couldn’t take it personally.”
These comments weren’t attacking her directly ““ she found they were directed at women as a whole, Gruys said.
But Gruys wants to brave negative feedback and complete her project. When she looks in the mirror for the first time next March, Gruys said it she expects it will be like saying hello to a cherished old friend.
Gruys hopes to inspire women to invest their time and energy in their values and spend less time worrying about looks.
“Stop looking in the mirror,” she said. “Go out and live your life.”
