Body image differs in Brazil

Rio de Janeiro “”mdash; I was off the plane for about 10 minutes and stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway when the driver in the adjacent car got my attention without saying a word.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

It’s a subtle cultural difference, but one that has made the biggest impression on me during my stay in Brazil. With the exception of the occasional “Cops” rerun on television, a bare-shouldered driver is all but absent from American society.

Showing skin isn’t isolated to men or the road in Brazil. Tan men and women, regardless of age, stroll down the beaches, along busy streets and often into small restaurants in only their bathing suits.

The more accustomed I become to the practice, the more I think it highlights some of the problems with body image and relationships in America.

I can’t say that I’m always a huge fan of witnessing nearly-naked bodies. The widespread Speedo use among older men, coupled with a lifetime diet of beer and steak stored in the midsection, can cause a spillover effect in the gut. Think of the chubby Buddha figurines come to life.

Still, there is a confidence and ease about the people that I envy. To the innocent observer, they seem completely without self-doubt.

It’s quite a change from Los Angeles’ body-conscious obsession. Not that people from Rio are oblivious to appearance, but they aren’t consumed by it. They don’t let their anxieties starve, overwork or cripple them.

There’s something to be said for regular exercise and a healthy diet, but see if you can picture yourself living the Brazilian lifestyle, confident enough to walk down to Westwood in only a bathing suit to order a burger from In-N-Out. I doubt even the most arduous Wooden cross-trainers and weight-lifters would be completely comfortable.

Yet that’s the norm in Rio, and having a higher level of personal comfort creates a more open and cohesive society. People aren’t afraid of being judged and interacting with each other, even when it comes to public displays of affection.

Now, I’m usually a pretty ardent opponent when it comes to a make-out session in the middle of my sidewalk. Yet I’m starting to think it’s because of how PDA comes off in America that I’m so turned off ““ as its name implies, it’s public.

It screams for attention, for validation, as a symbol to anyone and everyone that “we’re so into each other that all of you should witness it.” That’s pushing the definition of public and bordering on exhibitionist.

Here, affection seems to be quite the opposite. Regardless of location, the act always appears to be genuinely intimate. On a mountain overlook with tourists and locals crowded underneath a tropical forest, I saw a woman sharing a long kiss with a man by the side of the road. She had her eyes closed and was fully invested in the kiss ““ she didn’t know who or what was around her. It was beautiful, especially compared to what I’m used to seeing between the drunken couples up against the wall of a dance floor.

Maybe Brazilians are onto something.

It’s no wonder that Americans have problems maintaining relationships and feeling intimate if we are constantly judging ourselves. Without personal respect, it’s difficult to appreciate and trust others.

What’s even worse is the proposed solutions in self-help books and tabloid magazines: Learn to be comfortable with your body by losing weight, dressing better or acting like what other people want.

Forget that. That’s far too much work for any sane student to handle and it only reinforces judgment and anxiety. Instead, focus on being comfortable with everyone else’s appearance.

My proposed solution is to take a personal insecurity and compliment two people about that trait, one whom I envy and one who may not be so fortunate.

Besides making two people feel better and gaining a contact high from their reactions, the practice replaces feelings of anxiety with acceptance of being neither perfect nor abysmal.

Furthermore, it creates a culture where people aren’t as worried about seeing each other and being seen in public. If all types of bodies were fully represented at the beach, I think people would be a little less self-conscious.

I can say from experience that it’s a lot easier to be exposed among others if there are 80-year-old men around for comparison.

Americans are trying to solve their intimacy problems by putting them on display. There are the couples counseling sessions, communal demonstrations of nudity (like Undie Run), the raunchier and raunchier shows about sex and relationships. The theory that being open creates emotional attachment has been put on steroids.

But broadcasting our insecurities misses the point. The point isn’t to show more, it’s to be content with less with ourselves and the people around us. That’s the easiest way to get the intimacy we crave and the intimacy, I think, we often lack.

E-mail Elliott at [email protected]. Send general comments to [email protected].