Eating alone should not be awkward
By Leigh Goodrich
Jan. 20, 2009 9:00 p.m.
Of all the things you’re not supposed to do in college, whether it’s showering without shoes or putting your drink down at a party, I never knew it was so taboo to eat alone.
Obviously, having company for a meal is nice, but the occasional breakfast in solitude should be equally accepted. Instead, students eating alone are made to feel like pathetic loners.
I was one such loner recently in the dining hall at breakfast. I was innocently eating my eggs when a guy approached me and asked if I was eating by myself. When I told him I was, he said that one of the things you learn at UCLA is that “pretty girls should never eat alone.” He took a seat. Although it was probably a cheesy pick-up line, I recognized the genuine pity in his tone.
People seem to assume that eating alone means you have no self-esteem, no friends, and no life. What about just no time? Students have such busy schedules between school and work that a meal often consists of wolfing down as much food as humanly possible in 15 minutes.
The sad thing is that when they don’t have anyone to eat with, many students feel too self-conscious to just go to the dining hall and eat alone. Instead, they buy food from Bruin Cafe or resort to eating the stale cereal in their rooms. Once I ventured into the dining hall alone, I understood why it’s so uncomfortable. After getting my food, I had to find a place to sit. Either I could sit by myself in a corner where nobody would see me, or I could awkwardly find a spot at one of the long tables with other groups eating.
Looking around at the few other people eating alone made me realize I had come unprepared. They all had either a book, a newspaper or homework with them to occupy their time. All I had come to do was eat, and not having something else to do simultaneously made me feel utterly inadequate. Since when was breakfast such a downer?
I was reminded of a “Sex and the City” episode in which Carrie conquers her fear of eating alone in public. When I watched the show, I laughed at her awkwardness, wondering what was so scary about sitting alone at a restaurant and eating lunch. Scanning the dining hall scene without anyone to sit with, my stomach sank and I felt all the insecurities described by the wise Miss Bradshaw.
I realize that it takes a lot of guts to brave the social scene of the dining hall alone, but it shouldn’t be avoided like the plague. It’s important to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin without the distractions of other people or things to keep you busy. I’m not advocating that people abandon their friends, but I do think that spending time alone is a part of growing up and being independent.
Although people often glance at solo eaters with pity, they are only doing so to establish their superiority in the mealtime hierarchy that bears an uncanny resemblance to the food pyramid. In reality, most students have either eaten alone at one point, or been so afraid to that they let themselves starve. Either way, everyone can understand the need for some alone time or the hectic schedules that force that situation.
So next time you find yourself without a date for lunch, consider dining alone and letting your anxieties about it go. You might find yourself in good company after all.
If you’re looking for someone to eat with, then e-mail
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