Adapting to a new year

I knew that my third year was going to bring many changes. From Rieber to Midvale, Bruin Cafe to Ralphs and General Education requirements to legitimate classes, life is very different for a third-year student. I anticipated the majority of these changes and have adapted well. That said, I never foresaw how strange it was going to be to have so many of my good friends abroad. Also, I never realized the problems that having friends abroad for a quarter would create.

I spent my entire first two years figuring out who I am and who I connect with best. I have found a handful of people who are more a part of my college experience than books or Frisbees ““ remarkable friends, and it’s hard to imagine life without them. Bonding over late nights, beach trips, basketball games and study sessions, I only vaguely imagined what awaited us with life in the apartments. So when I arrived in early September, I expected to catch up with my buddies and tackle the year together. Only later did I realize the dreaded reality: They’re halfway across the world for the time being.

Living without them has proved to be terribly challenging. Suddenly, the people who defined my college experience have been yanked from my everyday life. Notwithstanding the occasional Skype or wall post, my dear friends completely cease to exist. UCLA might seem the same, but without them it’s as foreign as any international campus. Though I’ve been through loss before, this type of temporary absence is very strange. I’m not recovering from a permanent loss and it isn’t an easy weekend apart ““ the confusion can’t help but make me bitter as I ponder the situation.

I see the lure of being educated in a distant country, learning about a new culture and gaining new perspectives on the world but who’s going to take the place of my wandering friends?

As it turns out, this turns out to be one of the largest practical difficulties for hundreds of UCLA students. Most students studying abroad want to live with friends when they return, so they find someone to stay in their place during the absence. Subletting seems simple enough on the surface, but there are many unseen problems that come with the territory.

For example, Craigslist has become a key source to find temporary renters. The process of posting an advertisement and responding to any interested party becomes a problem when desperation forces subleasee to sacrifice selectivity for speed. Desperate roommates are looking for anybody who is willing to pay the month’s rent and asking tough questions about their living and cleaning habits is at the end of the priority list. After all, it’s only for a few months.

Turns out that hygiene is somewhat important. My friends have told me horror stories of dreadful subleasees who refuse to clean their dishes or keep quiet in the middle of the night. One of my friends is in the unfortunate situation of having all three of her roommates abroad and is forced to live with three random Craigslist girls. Two of them are international students and all three struggle with English. On top of that, they refuse to clean up after themselves and have bizarre eating and sleeping habits.

If you find yourself in such an unfortunate position time is both a blessing and curse. Janelle Jacobs, a third-year physiological science student, said all she can do is wait for her abroad roommates to return. Jacobs said she “just (takes) one day at a time and (knows) that eventually life will be normal again”.

It seems as if all my fellow abandoned souls can do is wait around for our beloved friends to return and rejoice at their return. We are as much excited to hear about the villages of Ghana, as we are to complain about how we can’t wait to explain how difficult life has been in the apartments of Westwood.

Thus bad subleasees and absent friends seem to be the toughest part of the transition to being a third-year. Nonetheless, though it’s hard now, the pain I might suffer won’t prevent me from having a good year. And when my friends return home, I will welcome them with open arms, tell them how much I missed them and eventually forgive them for the trouble they’ve caused ““ though not before giving them a good guilt trip.

If you were abandoned for a foreign country and are struggling with a bad subleasee, e-mail Pearring at [email protected]. Send general comments to [email protected].