Finally, an “˜I do’ that California recognizes
For Tom Keegan and Davidson Lloyd, “I do” has become a phrase they know very well ““ a phrase they have proclaimed time and time again during commitment ceremonies, informal weddings and unrecognized weddings.
But on July 3, in the comfort of their home, Keegan and Lloyd legally declared “I do” for the first time ““ an “I do” they hope will be their last.
No longer will Keegan and Lloyd need to conduct wedding ceremonies that are not recognized by law, such as their first wedding in 1989.
Nor will they need to stand in front of 200 spectators in Bruin Plaza and get married without an official marriage certificate, such as in April.
For this same-sex couple, the private wedding ceremony signified a milestone in their long and public fight for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights that began 31 years ago when the two first fell in love.
Side-by-side
It was in the stairwell of The Yard, a dance, music and theater project on the East Coast, where the two resident artists saw one another for the first time.
“It was love at first sight,” said Lloyd, current administrative director of the Screen Actors’ Guild Foundation.
A relationship was formed and the chemistry between the couple would eventually translate professionally as well. They began collaborating as performance artists specializing in gay “couples” pieces, which included taking on many roles within dance and play pieces. They were one of America’s first openly gay art performing couple.
In time, their talents became recognized as the Los Angeles Times declared them “America’s most talented gay couple” for their unique theatrical shows.
But beyond the critical acclaim and the personal accolades, the couple found a unique political voice. Their shows presented them with an opportunity to make a statement on LGBT rights.
“We traveled around the United States and Europe, and it seemed like every time we came out on stage, it was a form of education,” Keegan said.
With every show, they grew confident and convinced of their beliefs. By the time they adopted their daughter, Connor, they were earning praises of LGBT activists worldwide.
“We are so happy to be parents and to have a family of our own,” Keegan said. “The love for our daughter shows the rest of the world that gays and lesbians are human beings too. People change their minds about discrimination when they know LGBT people.”
He said connections between the LGBT community and the rest of the world was important to establish the landmark legislation toward legalized same-sex marriage that enabled their wedding last Thursday.
“Everyone needs to talk to their friends and family about gays and lesbians as real people and not as a stereotype,” Keegan said. “The more we share our stories and hold conversations, the more we can spread support.
“We won!”
Keegan said that when he first heard of the ruling on same-sex marriage, he was in shock, realizing he was living out an unforgettable moment in history for LGBT marital rights.
“I felt like running out in the street, grabbing people and yelling out, “˜We won! We won!'” he said. “I knew the events on May 15 would be part of a wave that would shatter the whole civil rights issue.”
Lloyd was in tears when he found out the news. He said he was speechless and the only thing that was running through his mind was, “This actually happened. We actually got civil rights.”
A recognized marriage
An endless row of shingled houses lines a street. In this muted Venice suburb, a red and orange house stands conspicuously as the home of Lloyd and Keegan. On this day, July 3, 30 friends and family have come inside for the couple’s wedding.
Tied to the front door, red, white, purple and orange balloons fly peacefully. The ceremony is low-key and quiet.
Inside the crowded home, a 40-person guest list including New York couple Robert Sherman and Janet Savage and television personality Chris Connelly offer smiles of congratulations.
The Rev. Sraddhakaaruna, who has known the couple for so long he can’t pinpoint an exact date, appears in traditional Buddhist wardrobe.
“They are terrific people,” he said. “They are centered, and they take friendship seriously.”
The outdoor patio serves as the makeshift chapel.
“Things will be different,” Connor Keegan-Lloyd, the 9-year-old adopted daughter said.
In a dandelion-yellow dress, she chases around her friend Claire and playfully tosses the dried roses on the ground.
“After 31 years, I feel happy that it’s finally happening,” she said. “But some people who don’t want gay marriages might come revenging.”
An untraditional wedding, the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” guides the couple in, Lloyd on the left and Keegan on the right. Both are wearing tuxedos. Lloyd is in yellow, Keegan is in pink.
The familiar smile of the Rev. John Ireland stands waiting.
After gaining minister status through the Universal Life Church in 2004, Ireland conducted more than 100 marriages during San Francisco’s brief legalization of same-sex marriages. He also performed Lloyd and Keegan’s commitment ceremony at UCLA last spring. He has known the two for eight years.
“This is a precedent-setting event,” Ireland said before the wedding, saying he was booked for a same-sex marriage almost every weekend.
“This is the summer of gay weddings,” he added.
Keegan stands on the altar in front of his California friends.
“I never thought that in my lifetime we would see something like this,” he said. “It’s no longer in the realm of fantasy.”
Lloyd now speaks, with slight tears running in his eyes.
When we first met, “something passed between us, it was something magical,” Lloyd said.
“With this ring, I thee wed.” “With this ring I thee wed,” the couple said.
“I do.” “I do,” the two said next.
The audience then wonders how the minister will proclaim the marriage.
“I now pronounce you spouses for life.”
