Little League is your best bet ““ the unpredictability will keep you on the edge of your bleacher seat
By Bobby Gordon
May 5, 2008 9:00 p.m.
Sunflower seeds, the smell of freshly cut grass and the sound of parents yelling at coaches because their son isn’t getting any playing time; Little League is as good as it gets.
Let’s start out with the obvious reasons.
First of all, it’s baseball, but with little people.
Second, sometimes the people are really little.
Third, in a world of increasingly steroid-ed big league players, you can never really trust the major leagues to give you a fair shake, especially if you have money on the line.
Which brings me to the most important point: Little League is hands down the greatest sport to bet on. Ever.
While the first and second reasons apply to Bobby Sox, no one bets on it. I know what you’re saying: “No one bets on Little League either.”
Well, you’re wrong.
With Little League, you’re betting on the boys’ continued motivation on top of everything else. In the Major Leagues, and even at the college and high school levels, you can generally assume the players want to play ““ and win ““ for the entirety of the game. In Little League this is not necessarily the case.
Little Jimmy Spurgeon could hit a two-RBI double in the first inning, play three solid innings at shortstop, and then tragically stub his toe when running out of the dugout in the fourth and want to go home. If a ground ball comes his way, you don’t know if he’ll field it and throw to first, sob and watch it go by, or try to kick it and stub his toe again.
It’s also entirely possible for a kid to “throw out his shoulder” by sneezing the night before the big game. True story. Happened on my team. We would have won, too.
Side bet opportunities are also bountiful. Picking which kid on the losing team is going to cry first is a good one, otherwise known as the “”˜Shawshank Redemption’ fresh-fish bet.”
The over-under is especially tough in a league where 23-2 scores are not out of the ordinary.
And with a new pitcher every three innings, you really need to do your homework to be an informed gambler.
Forget fantasy baseball. Too easy.
It takes a lot more initiative and determination to keep tabs on how the El Segundo Little League Padres’ pitching staff does against lefties.
And what if staff-ace Trevor Stoller sprains his pitching wrist playing kickball at school? Is Yahoo going to give you a convenient update? Hell no. Maybe the school principal will tell you if you ask nicely and pretend to be Trevor’s uncle, but even that’s a long shot.
While teams in Bobby Sox generally work together, focusing on camaraderie and sportsmanship as opposed to winning the game, Little Leaguers are ruthless. If you are in the outfield and drop a fly ball to ruin Chris Vastano’s perfect game, don’t come back to the dugout. He’ll cut you. And if he doesn’t, the hairy, possibly inebriated father living vicariously through little Chris might make a go of it. You can’t put a price on that kind of drama. TNT doesn’t know a damn thing.
Little League is also just like the pros in terms of roster turnover. Every two years you end up on a new team. In my career, I started in the minors playing for Bob’s Volvoland, got drafted by the Angels, traded to the Twins and finally landed on the Mets.
Sure there’s a lot of trauma involved. Kids get picked on, sustain a whole slew of injuries, and coach Dale Perry picks his son to be on the all-star team instead of me, even though I was the one who led our team to the playoffs. No, I’m not bitter about it.
But at the end of the day, Little League is still far more fun to play ““ and exponentially more fun to bet on ““ than Bobby Sox.
Finally, hella folks don’t even know what Bobby Sox are. Boo-ya.
If you want in on the betting pool for this Little League season, e-mail Gordon at [email protected].
