Despite speaker no-show, students still candid in sex-ed workshop
By Ines Santos
Feb. 21, 2007 10:22 p.m.
The LGBT center counselor-in-residence and several students pulled chairs in a circle, singing “Let’s Talk About Sex” after the guest speaker and peer educator scheduled to speak called to cancel at 5:02 p.m. on Wednesday.
The workshop, titled “Let’s talk about sex too: The sex education class your parents never wanted you to attend,” was planned as a “very casual sex-education conversation,” said Peter Carley, the LGBT counselor-in-residence and founder of the “Let’s talk dirty” series.
The guest speaker who canceled was Ray Fernandez, a peer educator at the AIDS Project Los Angeles and MPowerment program coordinator. He presented this workshop last fall quarter, and since then, word has spread about his style.
“I didn’t come (in the fall) but I heard it was really cool and that he talked about some crazy stuff and gave you free things,” said James Moody, a fourth-year marine biology student.
Others said they were disappointed.
“We were looking forward to the goodies,” said Beatrice Montenegro, a third-year political science and Chicana/o
studies student, who attended the talk last quarter.
Despite the absence of the expected peer educator, the crowd of about 25 students opened up to discuss a variety of sex issues.
The group briefly discussed a magazine article which said more people would choose to live without sex than without love. Then the students decided to make everybody comfortable by creating some anonymity, so everyone took a piece of paper and wrote down his or her questions.
For the next hour and a half, the group went through the questions, which ranged from relationships and dating to sexism and the connection between sexual roles and social roles between partners.
Some of the questions out of the hat included “How do you tell your partner you don’t want to do something they asked?” and “How do you find someone to date?” Other questions included “How do you masturbate?” and “Why is being promiscuous a bad thing?”
There were questions about specific acts and practices, and above all, there was curiosity about what others do and how others see sex and their sex lives.
Throughout the evening, the issues of “taboos” and social oppression on various levels were brought up.
“Sex is a taboo, no matter what. But queer sex is even more,” said Edgar Alvarez, a second-year atmospheric, oceanic and environmental sciences student. “It’s very important to have a safe space, where we can express ourselves.”
Students present said they found the meeting to be a safe and comfortable place to discuss sex, which is not always possible in other settings.
“Families don’t talk about sex,” Carley said, and general agreement from the crowd followed.
They continued the conversation with topics like virginity, sex and love, sex toys, masturbation, porn, the politics of safer-sex practices and abstinence.
Despite the group’s openness, some students remained quiet. Recognizing some shyness, Carley asked the group, “How is it like for people to be talking about (sex) here?”
A few of the students mentioned feeling uncomfortable, and one student said it had never occurred to him to discuss his body in public.
Overall, the conversation was free-flowing, respectful and friendly. The students left seemingly in a good mood without mentioning again the missing speaker.
