Confessions of a partial sports editor

While in the process of chewing my first chocolate-covered gummy
bear (which was delicious, by the way) I realized that I really
enjoy being a UCLA sports fan.

To get a little disclaimer out of the way, it is probably not
journalistically kosher for me to be referring to myself as a UCLA
sports fan when I am not only an assistant sports editor but also
supposed to be something called “impartial” in my
coverage. (Remind me to tell you about the time I wore a UCLA
sweatshirt in the press box for last year’s Arizona State
game.)

But hey ““ if you don’t mind, I don’t mind (and
since this isn’t exactly dialogue we’re having,
I’ll assume you don’t mind).

I grew up basically destined to be at UCLA. My dad went here. My
brother Brian went here. My sister Molly was here a year ahead of
me. It’s basically a family business, being UCLA students. I
enjoy that.

I enjoy sharing a major with most of the athletes here. Being a
history major is a trying experience, both mentally and physically,
and I’m just happy that we can all fight through it together.
I also enjoy that the athletes go to class more than I do.

But mostly, I enjoy the sports themselves.

I am not an athlete. If I added six inches and 20 pounds of
muscle, I still would not be an athlete.

I have grown to accept this after years of playing basketball as
if I had two broken wrists and soccer as if I were on two
perpetually sprained ankles.

But I still enjoy sports, so I do the next best thing: watch
them.

My first purchase upon entering college was season tickets for
both football and basketball.

Although there has been little tangible success among those
moneymaking teams in my three years here, the games have been an
integral part of my college experience.

And yes, one NCAA Final appearance in three years counts as
“little tangible success” at UCLA. Deal with it.

Even the 6-3 victory over Illinois in football my freshman year
was an enjoyable experience for me, and that had as much to do with
tailgating as it did with the actual game (which was legitimately
dreadful).

You see, I tailgate for up to 10 hours before each home football
game (and I only put the limit at 10 hours because that’s
when the parking lot opens).

UCLA football has given me an opportunity to sit around for an
entire Saturday watching football and eating various barbecued
delicacies.

I also enjoy that I’m probably going to miss taking the
LSAT this year because both dates, Sept. 30 and Dec. 2, happen to
be football Saturdays.

Yes, I may very well severely alter my future because I want to
see how close UCLA can come to beating USC this year. It’s a
sickness.

Now, it would probably be foolish of you to assume I thought of
all this in the process of chewing a chocolate-covered gummy
bear.

But it was delicious, and I did take my time eating it.

E-mail David at [email protected] if you also think
impartiality is tremendously overrated ““ like Notre
Dame.