Love is all you need, but music helps

Love is blind. But nobody ever said it was deaf.

Unlike in high school, when people are thrown into awkward
social groups that either miraculously survive or devolve into
backstabbing and nasty gossip come senior year, college is a place
for choice ““ friends, enemies and significant others
alike.

For me, that’s meant picking friends with similar musical
preferences. Take my roommates for this coming summer: I chose them
almost entirely based on their tolerance for Ryan Adams and sad
indie-folk, and because like me, they’re all music nuts with
a hearty appreciation for R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The
Closet.” That and I’m pretty sure we all have a soft
spot for Kidz Bop.

Musical taste is a highly individual thing, so when you find
someone willing to go with you to see the esoteric indie rock bands
Campus Events manages to bring to UCLA once or twice a quarter,
it’s like a gift from the music gods.

It’s with these bosom buddies that your musical Venn
diagrams overlap past a few canonical staples and you can find
something to talk about. After all, everyone except Mark Humphrey
likes The Beatles. A shared love for something more out of the way
““ underground hip-hop maybe, or in my case anything relating
to Rose Melberg and her former band The Softies ““ is often
the spark for the start of a beautiful friendship.

Unless, that is, what you have on your hands is more than just
being friends.

There are other things more important beside music, of course,
but not for me ““ and if you and your concert buddy sat
through Akron/Family’s 30-minute noise jam at the Cooperage
this winter, not for you either. So much of the interaction between
music fans and the outside world is filtered through headphones or
ear buds, with the soundtrack inseparable from the scenes. All of
which brings us to my girlfriend.

William Congreve once wrote, “Music hath charms to soothe
a savage breast.” He must not have been referring to
“Charms Around Your Wrist” by The Softies ““ she
hates that song. I’m not the biggest fan of her favorites
either; I don’t mind U2, but I stopped listening to
alternative rock radio last millennium.

Music is an essential part of every courtship, from the first
kiss to the wedding dance, so it’s hard to ignore the
importance of taste. Couples listen to music all the time, whether
driving to a date or making out in a dorm room.

Songs can express emotions and create connections that people
often can’t express by themselves. One of the most iconic
images in American filmmaking is that of John Cusack’s
character Lloyd Dobler, holding a boom box over his head in
“Say Anything” in a desperate attempt to win back his
girlfriend. Words alone won’t convince her, but Peter Gabriel
just might.

Then again, it was Cusack whose record-store-owning character in
“High Fidelity” wondered how his significant other
could possibly reconcile liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel.
Toward the end of the movie, we find Cusack’s skeptical Rob
Gordon making a mix tape ““ the musical equivalent of
chocolate and a bouquet of roses ““ but it’s not for his
girlfriend Laura. Gordon scraps the tape though, and sticks it out
with Laura, who in turn helps him start a record label and get back
into DJing.

Cusack, the ultimate sensitive man’s man, always makes the
right decision. When you’re listening to Gaye (or in
“High Fidelity,” Jack Black) sing about making love,
it’s hard not to. Anyway, I one-upped old Rob, bought my
girlfriend an iPod and loaded it with bands I think she’ll
like. We may not ever reach Venn diagram status, but after all, The
Beatles were right about one thing: love really is all you
need.

Greenwald still makes his girlfriend romantic mix tapes.
E-mail him yours at [email protected].