Students have rawkin’ resource
By Hector Leano
June 12, 2005 9:00 p.m.
I like sports. I like climbing trees best. I am so good. You do
not believe me, but I am.
I was with my friend Vince. Vince said he climbed a tree. Then
Vince and I climbed a tree. It was cinchy.
We went to the park. There are lotsa trees in the park. We
climbed all of them. It was so much fun.
I like UCLA. UCLA has lotsa fun trees. The squirrels are so
happy. They climb lotsa trees.
Derrick always stops at the middle. He gets scared. I say,
“Derrick is a scaredy, Derrick is a scaredy.”
Class is no fun. I do not like class. I like break. My friends
and I climb trees and then we drink juice and then we go to
class.
I do not like the name Hector. When I grow up, I will be an
astronaut-fireman and shoot machine guns. My name will be Cosmos
Flash. All my friends will say, “Cosmos Flash is so, so good
at climbing trees. He went to space and then he climbed the biggest
tree. There is no gravity in Mars.”
Derrick fell off the tree. Derrick got a cast. Everyone in class
signed it. I signed it “Cosmos.” I wrote, “Stay
cool.”
Derrick lost a tooth eating a rock. He thought it was candy. We
said, “This is not a rock. This is candy.”
Derrick’s not supposed to play with us no more.
I want to make a lot of money. When I grow up, people’ll
give me money to climb trees. I will only climb trees for good, not
evil.
When I grow up I will live in a tree. It will be a thousand
million hundred feet tall.
“¢bull; “¢bull; “¢bull;
This was a rejected column I wrote months ago. It is published
now to prove that not everything runs. The Daily Bruin is not a
college newspaper, but a legitimate paper.
My name is [email protected], and I’m
22-and-a-quarter years old.
