No shirt, no shoes, no sense

Walking into Denny’s in Houston last weekend, I had my
first brush with odd American rules ““ Texas seemed full of
them anyway. I mean, putting up the Texan flag on pretty much every
open inch of space? There’s a thin line between pride and
conceit, and Texas long ago crossed that line.

But back to my Denny’s story. My friend, her brother and I
caught a late dinner ““ late as in 1 a.m. We placed our order
and were waiting for our food when our shady waitress scuttled over
and whispered something to my friend’s brother.

He was sitting across from me, so I didn’t really catch
what she was saying. But I did see a look of puzzlement register
across his face. The lady finally decided to speak up: “Sir,
do you have shoes on?” she asked with a drawl.

I had a hard time not laughing the first time I heard that
““ it just sounded so ridiculous. My friend’s brother
told her that he did, in fact, have shoes on, and that there
shouldn’t be any trouble.

And this is exactly how I was exposed to the “no shirt, no
shoes, no service” rule that restaurants tend to enforce in
the United States. Apart from the fact that this is an absolutely
absurd regulation, what I found even more crazy was the fact that
the waitress thought it was perfectly normal.

Coming from a society whose laws resemble Hammurabi’s
code, I’ve definitely seen my share of weird,
bordering-on-human-rights-violation laws.

I mean, in Saudi Arabia, a girl in a car with a guy who’s
not her relative is liable to be arrested and put in jail. The
punishment for stealing is still cutting off the right hand the
first time around, the left hand the next time ““ and I guess
the neck comes next. And, yes, there are still public hangings.

But ironically, in restaurants in Saudi Arabia, you’re not
only allowed to take off your shoes, there are restaurants where
you’re supposed to take off your shoes, sit on the carpet and
eat. Traditional Arab food is supposed to be eaten in this
manner.

Is this just culture clash? Maybe, but this isn’t the only
instance that comes to mind.

Take alcohol, for example. In Saudi Arabia, it’s
absolutely forbidden. Forbidden to the extent that if you are
caught with alcohol, you risk being executed. In fact, it’s
normal to read in the Arab News ““ Riyadh’s daily
newspaper ““ about people getting caught and being duly
punished.

Barbaric and even unnecessary, I agree, but definitely quick and
efficient. The Saudi government doesn’t have to deal with
drunk drivers, DUIs or anything.

This doesn’t mean that people don’t drink. People do
find ways to get around the rules. Just like any system, there are
loopholes. But this is nothing compared to the millions spent by
the U.S. government enforcing drinking laws.

Yet American kids still drink, and they do drive while
they’re drunk. In 2003 there were about 17,000 deaths on U.S.
highways because of drunk drivers. Moreover, the blood alcohol
limit in Saudi Arabia is 0.00 (obviously, no tolerance) compared to
0.08 in the United States, which has one of the highest limits.

I’m not saying that drinking laws are completely useless
byproducts of bored bureaucrats ““ I’m sure they do
help. In fact, groups like Mothers Against Drunk Driving have made
sure that penalties for drunk driving have gotten harsher. But
these laws are generally ineffective. As a result, Congress had to
launch the Congressional Stop DUI Caucus to renew attention to the
problems of drunk driving.

The last issue I want to bring up is the concept of maids and
drivers. I’ll be the first to admit that I was brought up
having both. The fact is that hired help is normal in many places
around the world. True, you are paying someone to basically take
care of you, but it’s not as if my maid and driver were
forced to do so. They were a part of my family, and I
couldn’t imagine growing up without them.

People shouldn’t be so quick to deem hired help as elitist
when the truth is far from it.

I want to end my last column by saying that I’ve had a
great year at UCLA, learned quite a bit and hopefully showed people
that Saudi Arabia isn’t the hell hole ““ apart from the
hangings, anyway ““ that most people would imagine it to
be.

Saxena is a first-year mathematics and economics student.
E-mail her at [email protected].