Soundbite

Weezer “Make Believe” Geffen
Records

The following are Pop Up Video-worthy factoids about Weezer
front man Rivers Cuomo: “¢bull; After the initially panned album
“Pinkerton,” Cuomo holed up in a Los Angeles apartment
for a year, disconnecting the phone, painting the walls black, and
putting black sheets and fiberglass insulation over the windows.
“¢bull; He wore three-piece suits ““ and only three-piece
suits ““ during the 2002 Enlightenment Tour. “¢bull; He
resumed his frequently interrupted studies at Harvard last spring,
living in the dorms at age 33. He even fell for a coed, but the
infatuation ended in typical Rivers fashion (see: unrequited).
“¢bull; Last year, he sold his possessions and lived in a garage
with a sleeping bag and microwave. Why mention these seemingly
insignificant facts? Put simply, these eccentric tidbits are more
fascinating than anything on Weezer’s new album “Make
Believe.” Many hardcore Weezer fans have whispered that Cuomo
and the band reached a creative plateau with 1996’s
“Pinkerton,” and with every subsequent album this
hypothesis becomes more apparent. The band’s 2001 comeback,
the self-titled “Green Album,” was commercially
successful yet thematically superficial. The follow-up in 2002,
“Maladroit,” was “Pinkerton’s”
overlooked younger sibling. This leads to “Make
Believe,” the band’s least creative and least
interesting album to date. And this isn’t a case of the album
being bad by Weezer standards, but better than 95 percent of
what’s out there. Instead, “Make Believe” is a
misfire by any measure. To be fair, “Make Believe” has
fine moments. “Perfect Situation” mixes the bounce of
the “Blue Album” and the melancholic pop vigor of
“Pinkerton” perfectly, while “This Is Such a
Pity” is an inspired experiment with synth and dance pop.
Unfortunately, the positives end there. The rest of “Make
Believe” is a combination of bland and terrible. Most tracks
are harmlessly boring, such as “My Best Friend,” which
has the chorus: “You’re my best friend/And I love
you.” On other tracks such as “Peace,” Weezer
whines away like Dashboard Confessional. The problem with the vast
majority of the album is not just that the songs are superficially
boring, but that you can hear the band laboring through them. Yet
no song epitomizes what Weezer has become more than “We Are
All on Drugs.” There was a time when one would assume this
song is Weezer’s biting satire about getting high.
Unfortunately, it is instead a trite diatribe against drug use
(“You wish you could quit/’Cause you’re really
sick of it/But you’re on drugs”) with a wretched chorus
akin to fingernails scratching a chalkboard in hell. When Weezer
does attempt satire, it’s done in a hackneyed fashion.
Seriously, did another song like “Beverly Hills” really
need to be written about trying to fit in to Southern California
while decrying its shallow nature? Most of all, “Make
Believe” is guilty of something unique: Its lyrics are so
lacking in creativity that Cuomo sounds whiny. On
“Pinkerton,” Cuomo talks about deeply personal issues
without pouting. On “Make Believe,” the themes are so
general and the construction so blase that many listeners may find
themselves wishing Cuomo would just be normal and shut up. Part of
Cuomo’s charm is that he is anything but normal. He is a
classic eccentric who has been able to creatively express his
shortcomings in a self-deprecating yet heartfelt way. But on
“Make Believe,” he sounds like any of the hundreds of
other pop singers complaining about mean girls. With that said,
Rivers Cuomo and Weezer can do better. This isn’t speculation
-““ Weezer has shown that it can be a brilliant power-pop
quartet and still has the ability to do so. Should this album flop,
expect Cuomo to respond by retreating to a mountain cabin to
prepare for a new album by chasing chickens around a pen and
punching a hanging slab of meat. What an interesting factoid that
would make. ““Mark Humphrey