Ranking the most excellent sport films
By Hector Leano
April 10, 2005 9:00 p.m.
In the hallways of my high school, they used to hang
inspirational posters in a feeble attempt to make us forget we went
to an all-guy school. Mission totally NOT accomplished.
Usually the posters involved the juxtaposition of nature scenes
and psalm quotes, but there was this one in particular that caught
my attention. It attributed to Aristotle a quote along the lines
of, “We are what we repeatedly do … excellence then is not
an act, but a habit.” Of course, my memory from those
girl-deprived days is somewhat suspect as I roamed those all-dude
halls in a girl-withdrawal haze.
Anyway, if you really think about it, that quote is like,
TOTALLY so true in sports. The greats can’t win just one
championship, but need several to establish themselves in the
annals of sports history.
Anyhow, this week’s topic is the most excellent all-time
sports movie dynasties of all time. I hesitate to make it movie
dynasties rather than single movies, as “Love and
Basketball” is, in the words of former roommate Thong Phan,
“sweet to the max plus one.”
If being dope is the common cold, then “Love and
Basketball” is Ebola wrapped in bird flu holding machine
guns.
But, like Aristotle also said, “you can’t make an
omelet without a pan in which to cook the eggs.” Aristotle
could be awfully literal.
The ground rules are 1) that the movie series must be sports
related and 2) consistently deliver the awesome from the first
installment to the last. This is about continued excellence in more
than one showing.
If you let any dope off the street vote, then the
“Rocky” movies would win. Yes, the first Rocky has an
Oscar or two to its credit, the third has Survivor’s
“Eye of the Tiger,” the fourth has the Russian
ubiquitous racial stereotypes essential to any all-American
“˜80s movie.
However, to put Rocky at the top we’d have to ignore Rocky
V’s hip-hop soundtrack and Frank Stallone’s cameos in
Rocky I-III, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t
forget Frank Stallone.
So here are my picks for the top three sports movie dynasties of
all time.
Number Three ““ The Mighty Ducks: Emilio Estevez stars as
Coach Gordon Bombay leading a group of ragtag underdog misfits
against all odds. Good solid stories about rag-tag underdogs
overcoming the odds while the protagonist overcomes his personal
demons. And the bad guys wear black in case you’re having
trouble following the plot nuances. Solid effort, and with Mighty
Ducks 4 in production now (rumor is, with Emilio Estevez and Joshua
Jackson reprising their classic roles), fans are getting a
“Hat Trick” plus one of awesome.
Number Two ““ The Karate Kid: One word: Ralph Macchio. Need
another one? Mr. Miyagi. Furthermore, the third installment, titled
“The Next Karate Kid,” introduced a young Hillary Swank
to the world as a troubled teenage girl overcoming personal demons
through Karate.
You want “˜80s movie racial stereotypes? Ha! The first
Karate Kid was THE formative source for my generation’s
perception of the Japanese. When I went to Japan last year, I was
expecting the people to walk around catching flies with chopsticks
and surreptitiously practicing Karate in otherwise innocuous
everyday activities. Strong contender for the best sports dynasty
ever, but Hillary Swank just couldn’t overcome the lack of
Ralph Macchio in “The Next Karate Kid.” That boy
positively sizzles on screen.
Number One ““ Air Bud: A dog? Playing team sports? And
you’re still asking for more? Here are the titles for the
sequels: “Air Bud: Golden Receiver;” “Air Bud:
Golden Pup;” “Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch;”
“Air Bud: Spikes Back.”
How do they come up with this stuff? As an aspiring writer, I am
awed.
I could bore you with plot summaries, but with high-concept
titles like these, you don’t need plot.
So there’s the definitive list. These films are most
excellent, and sports related.
I was thinking about discussing the “Bring It On”
franchise so I could dismiss it by saying that cheerleading is not
a sport just so angry cheerleaders would contact me and then
I’d convince them to meet over an intimate dinner to discuss
further. But I won’t. Good plan though.
My arch-nemesis wears black and is Frank Stallone. E-mail
yours at [email protected].
