Let the OC have the Angels, Moreno

Attention: Arte Moreno, owner of the Anaheim Angels.

Dear Mr. Moreno,

You face the proverbial dilly of a pickle: expanding your target
demographic while maintaining an intimate connection to your fan
base. In an effort to increase leverage in TV contract
negotiations, you are attempting to associate the Angels with Los
Angeles rather than Anaheim.

Please think of the baby before you get all crazy ““ the
baby being loyalty to your roots.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim … dude, weak. Is it any
wonder that you’re facing the business end of angry fist
shaking? Weak-sauce name aside, for too long we OC-ians have just
been known as Los Angeles’ conservative and duller
neighbor.

“Anaheim’s not a real city,” said fourth-year
English student Judy Park. “What’s the big
deal?”

Hailing from Sunnyvale apparently qualifies Park as an
authority. What’s with NorCalers anyway? The difference
between them and Anaheim peeps is that no matter the distance from
the Bay Area, they all claim San Fran as their hood (case in point,
Sunnyvale), whereas Anaheim doesn’t bite anyone’s
style.

NorCal disrespect is one thing, but now we’re sold out as
a marketing ploy. I feel disenfranchised (literally, dissed by my
franchise).

Yes, Orange County as a whole and Anaheim in particular are not
given their due props, but rather than becoming a second tier L.A.
team (as the Clippers are to the Lakers), how about building the
Anaheim brand instead? The age of globalization requires
fourth-dimensional thinking, Mr. Moreno; antiquated schema
won’t cut it.

Luckily, you’re in the midst of fortuitous timing.
December’s OC Metro cover story states that Orange County is
“cool” and “hot,” which market studies
suggest is popular with the “jiggy with it” kids.

Fair Orange County, inspiration for two hit TV shows and a movie
starring Tom Hanks’ kid, is this generation’s Beverly
Hills 90210 (making me Luke Perry, a 20-something-year-old hanging
out by the high school trying to pick up girls). We positively
exude glam.

Just the other day my OC friend Tiffany met Lo from
“Laguna Beach: the Real Orange County.” Why, had I been
there, I would have invited Lo to join me at the nearest Islands
restaurant.

That’s the beauty of Orange County: our authenticity. Our
strip malls grew organically around such mom-and-pops as Old Navy,
The Gap, and Disneyland.

Yet apart from Orange County, Anaheim has a character all its
own.

Going down Euclid Boulevard, I could show you four bomb Mexican
food places, easy.

It’s not like we’re Yorba Linda ““ Anaheim has
soul.

“Arte should join me at the Anaheim Hills Foxfire,”
Anaheim native and fourth-year Bruin Sylvia Do said, “the
best source for randy 40-year old divorcees. Or to the Rio for some
dope karaoke.”

And this is but a nibble on the veritable smorgasbord of Anaheim
flavor.

You see, Mr. Moreno, recognizing one’s roots should not
merely be a contractual obligation tied to the more than $30
million the Angels received from the city in stadium renovations
and revenue concessions.

I won’t lie: Pitching Anaheim to the world will not be
easy, but you’re not alone. In Anaheim, we’re a
“community.”

I will personally write a rap song celebrating our fine city.
What Tupac’s “California Love” did for Cali,
I’ll do for Anaheim: Put it on the map. It’s the least
I can do for the city where I went from li’l slugger to big
leaguer.

So keep going with this renaming plan of yours, Mr. Moreno.
However, you’ll find yourself relating to Lisa Loeb’s
smash hit “Stay,” particularly when she sings,
“You said that I was naïve/and I thought that I was
strong/I thought, “˜Hey, I can leave, I can leave’/but
now I know that I was wrong/’cause I missed you.”

You’re Lisa Loeb by thinking the Angels can leave
Anaheim.

But I guess sometimes holding on means letting go. You’ll
be back, Mr. Moreno, but will Anaheim be there (like not
geographically speaking)?

Set Leano free at [email protected].