If crosstown competition dies, hope could go too

Here we go. Again.

Here’s yet another Beat ‘SC Week, which invariably
means people smashed up a car Monday and thought it was a great
exhibition of school spirit.

I guess that means today is the “get the red out”
blood drive, which sounds more like McCarthyism in action than
anything else.

And there’s sure to be a bonfire Thursday.

Yet through it all, “The Bruin Bear is
hybernating.”

Hybernating. Really.

At least that’s what it said on the statue’s
temporary den in Bruin Plaza a few days ago.

Let’s disregard for a moment the gross misspelling of the
term for our mascot’s annual retreat into a shroud of
vinyl.

Forget that, for so long, we’ve known the metallic animal
by a redundant name.

Ignore that of all times, now ““ just days before the
UCLA-USC football matchup, when presumably we need school spirit
the most ““ is when the Bruin goes into hibernation.

Instead, ask yourself why, when we have enough fodder to make
fun of our crosstown rival for ages to come, we throw a little fuel
to the other side so they can return the insults. How can we lash
out at USC for its admission standard of “how big is your
trust fund?” when we can’t even get a fourth-grade word
right on a stupid sign?

But I guess what’s worse and more laughable than these
petty shortcomings is the false sense of hope we have around here
that the Bruins somehow are going to pull off a victory
Saturday.

I want UCLA to win just like everyone else does. But it seems a
little ridiculous to me that we precede the football game with a
week of events surrounded by the theme of “Time’s up,
Trojans.”

Time’s up for what? Practicing your victory dance?

Some would say I’m pessimistic for thinking the way I do.
But at some point you have to recognize reality when it’s
staring at you.

The best team in the country is taking on, well, UCLA. I think I
can say with confidence that it’s definitely not going to be
the Trojans’ toughest game of the season.

So what does that mean?

Maybe Karl Dorrell should call up Pete Carroll and forfeit the
game.

Or not.

As much as I hate this pipe dream of possible victory, I
don’t see a way around it. Without it, there would be no Beat
‘SC Week, which would mean, of all terrible things in life,
that we wouldn’t have an excuse to play with fire ““ or
at least look at fire from a safe distance so no one gets hurt and
sues the Board of Regents.

And I’m sure a large part of the nearly 100,000 people who
will fill the Rose Bowl on Saturday wouldn’t even bother
making the trek to Pasadena without any slight bit of hope that the
Bruins might actually pull off a win.

Let’s face it. We need to keep some hope alive ““ if
for no other reason than to keep the rivalry alive. Each year it
seems like the crosstown competition dies a little bit more.

Gone are the days of those pranks that we hear of only in
stories today ““ such as renting a helicopter to dump manure
on Tommy Trojan or disconnecting Tommy’s sword from his hand
and reaffixing it … uh … below the belt.

And though I’m glad the shenanigans haven’t been so
severe in Westwood in recent years, it’s sort of sad that
pranksters now are relegated to throwing eggs at the Bruin statue
or using a stencil to paint Trojans up and down Bruin Walk.

I’m tempted to ask where the creativity has gone. But the
more I think about it, the more I realize the winning team has less
of an incentive to hassle the other team ““ especially when it
has won for the last five years.

So I guess more than anything for me it comes down to jealousy
““ kind of wanting to know what it’s like to be on the
other side of things.

I haven’t lost all hope in having that happen soon. Not
all, but most of it.

Here’s hoping for a restoration of faith.

Looper wants the Bruins to prove him wrong. E-mail him at
[email protected].