Editorial: If Kerry can’t succeed, Californians must secede

This election has made it obvious: We are no longer one country.
We should stop pretending. If Sen. John Kerry is not elected, We
The People of California hereby secede from the union.

A daring assembly of rebels wrote 230 years ago in the
Declaration of Independence: “The history of the present King
(then George III, if you remember) is a history of repeated
injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the
establishment of an absolute Tyranny.”

It all sounds disturbingly similar to the current situation.

California may have 55 electoral votes, but politicians show us
little love.

Our needs are often sacrificed to placate fence-riding voters in
the middle of the country, whose electoral votes are more easily
gained with sound bites and cowboy boots. George II has essentially
written off California’s population because the state is not
ideologically on track with his America. And Democrats don’t
talk to us because we are presumably already in their pockets.

Many already view California as a world unto itself, so why not
make it official?

Free from the chaos of a polarized nation, California, the
country, would be a much better place to live.

We’re prepared for sovereignty: We’ve got Hollywood,
wine, the Silicon Valley and avocados.

Our new government, in accordance with the will of the people,
would legalize marijuana, lower the drinking age to 18 and heavily
tax billionaires.

As the world’s seventh largest economy, we will sustain
ourselves with agriculture and advanced technology. We will
recognize the value of science, and lead the world on initiatives
like stem cell research and alternative energy.

No longer forced by the federal government to fund military
bases and farms in states like Alaska and Mississippi, our social
programs and economy will prosper.

Post-secession, there will be no budget shortfalls to justify
slashes in education funding, and Chancellor Carnesale could trash
his proposal to double student fees.

We will finally be able to address issues like immigration and
universal health care.

The world will be eager to establish relations with our newfound
country because we will not see the world as black and white, but
an amalgam of cultures and people who deserve respect.

Though the votes of Californians may not count much in the
electoral college, our state is a force to be reckoned with. And
should Bush preemptively invade, he will be met by the might of
President Arnold Schwarzenegger.

While a sovereign California is tempting, the easier alternative
is to vote today and change the direction of the state and the
nation. Besides, a proposal to secede may just extend the
state’s already painfully long and confusing ballots to the
point of insanity.