Jane Doe’s bravery inspiring

True or false: In her lifetime, one in four women will be
sexually assaulted or raped. True or false: At least 61 percent of
rapes and sexual assaults are never reported to the police. True or
false: Factoring in unreported rapes, approximately 15 out of 16
rapists will walk free.

According to statistics that the UCLA Clothesline Project
distributed last year from different sites, these facts are true.
If you answered true to all three questions, you are an expert. But
how many people didn’t know the answers?

Rape is one of the most underreported violent crimes. There is a
stigma attached to the actual word itself, and for that reason no
one wants to talk about it. Many people tend to blame survivors of
sexual assault and rape, saying she deserved it because she got too
drunk or was wearing a short skirt.

Try this experiment: Put on your baggiest jeans and biggest
sweatshirt, with the hood covering your head.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you think a woman wearing
this outfit would be raped?

Think again. I personally know someone who was raped wearing
clothes similar to this. Women as well as men are sexually
violated, not because of anything they do or how they look. It is
because someone else needs to feel in control. It is because they
were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Unfortunately, the high-profile cases that have been in the
media lately have played a big part in making survivors hesitant to
talk about their experiences. We cannot let this stand in the way
of those of us who need to open up and talk about it and begin our
healing process.

Talking about the experience is the first step in healing. It
might be scary and frightening, but at the same time it is
courageous and, more importantly, empowering.

Survivors do not have to rush to break their silence; there is
no specific timeline for one to tell one’s story. Whenever
survivors feel ready is the best time. The most important thing to
know is that whatever happened to them is not their fault.
Survivors of sexual violence are not alone.

Family, friends and lovers of survivors can also do a lot to
help ease the stigma of rape and sexual assault. If a friend
discloses her or his story, listen with open ears and an open
heart.

As a listener, letting the survivor know that you believe her or
his story is the most important step in helping someone feel safe.
It is normal for friends and family to feel overwhelmed and
confused. Just listening to and believing someone who opens up
about her or his experience helps the healing process begin.

The recent rape trial of DeShawn Stringer ended in a 7-5 hung
jury. Stringer says he lost two years of his life. But how many
years has Jane Doe lost? Every minute can seem like a month, every
hour a year.

Jane Doe is one of the most courageous people in the UCLA
community. She has taken a huge step in talking about her story,
let alone deciding to prosecute three men. She is an inspiration to
me and others who have personally been affected by her bravery. At
a time when she needs us most, we need to support Jane Doe. We need
to educate our friends and colleagues about rape and sexual
violence.

No matter what your personal opinion about the result of the
Jane Doe trial, rape is a horrible thing that cannot be pushed
under the rug and forgotten about. It needs to be talked about. It
needs to be believed. The UCLA community needs to talk about it.
Let us stand in solidarity with survivors and show those who do not
believe that we are not afraid.

Jane Doe, thank you for your courage. We believe and support
you.

Brandeis is the internal committee chair of the UCLA
Clothesline Project.