Schrauth head here at 32 points, thanks copy

In its truncated form, a joke I used to tell in third grade goes
like this: A boy was born with just a head. His first day at
school, all the other children made fun of him, so when he went to
bed that night he prayed for a body. The next morning, he woke up
looking just like every other child. The boy was so excited that he
ran outside and started turning cartwheels in the street, where a
truck ran him over, killing him.

The moral? Stop while you’re a head!

The posters say that we learned everything we need to know in
kindergarten. I don’t think that’s true, but judging by
my advanced joke-telling at age 8, we’ve certainly gotten a
big chunk of information by the time we finish elementary
school.

If only we knew how to listen to it.

My third year at the Daily Bruin, I was copy chief — one of
eight section heads within The Bruin. One of my duties was making
sure the headline spaces left by the design section were filled
correctly.

As I told my staff at the end of the year, the experience was
probably one of the best and worst of my life. Though I regularly
suffered nightmares about the copy desk and though I received rude
e-mails comparing my intelligence to that of an elementary school
student ““ an insult or a compliment, I don’t know
““ at least I felt connected to both the paper and the people.
I felt I was teaching, helping.

I truly cared about the people at the desk and the work we did.
The Daily Bruin was my Bruin, the staff my closest friends.

My fourth year, I decided to stay at The Bruin as a designer,
with the job now of sending the copy section those headline specs I
used to fill.

Yes, I learned valuable design skills, but the place
wasn’t the same. Many of my friends were gone, and a new
senior staff had taken over. The Bruin didn’t need me
anymore, a point brought home when I tried to log on to the
computer, which said there was no such person as
“sschrauth.”

There is nothing like being told you don’t exist.

I eventually quit at the end of winter quarter, aware that I was
two quarters too late, that I should have stopped while I was a
head — a section head. It took me 13 years, but I finally really
listened to my joke.

I think junior high, high school and college are actually about
beating into our heads those lessons we should already know but
perhaps don’t want to learn.

I’m not sure I’ll remember much about UCLA classes
““ though I’m sure I’ll never forget the Daily
Bruin ““ but I do know that when I leave I won’t be
looking back.

Though they’ve given me a lot, UCLA and The Bruin have
nothing left to offer me, and I have nothing left to offer them.
But I’m incredibly thankful, and I think I’ll do both
institutions more justice, and show them both more respect, if I
leave them behind me and give them the chance to direct their
attention elsewhere.

Perhaps they’ll help someone else flush out her
third-grade education.

Stephanie Schrauth was the 2002-2003 copy chief, who thanks
The Bruin for Robert.