Web community can’t replace real friends
By Jeff Schenck
May 23, 2004 9:00 p.m.
One of the greatest dilemmas of social interaction is staring me
in the face. Someone I don’t even remember is waiting for me
to decide whether I will confirm our friendship with a quick
click.
This is what my friendships have sunk to since they were
swallowed up in the social muck that is Thefacebook.com, an online
community that helps college students connect.
And this problem is literally staring me in the face ““ the
person’s picture is on the computer screen looking blankly
out at me, expecting a consummation of our union.
What’s next?
Perhaps friends will soon have to write vows and draw up a fair
prenuptial before they can safely hang out.
Maybe that’s why it’s so popular. In fact, I think
the wildfire-like spread of Thefacebook.com, both at UCLA and
colleges across the country, may be caused by our insecurities. We
all know how good it feels when our self-worth is set by a
risk-free invitation to friendship. And this service seems to know
what we’ve been looking for.
In this online, college-crowd-centered community, users enter
all sorts of personal information, then collect friends like Star
Wars cards.
After reconnecting with long-lost friends they never really had,
users have many glamorous options. They can message other users
without even bothering to boot up their vocal chords. They can view
a pretty and self-esteem-boosting visualization of their friends.
They can even “poke”.
I’m not entirely sure what poking is for, and neither are
the creators. I suppose it could become anything from a friendly
“hi” to a blatantly sexual catcall.
All of it inane, certainly, but also addicting. And pleasantly
mollifying. Strange ““ sounds like the ’60s.
Maybe that’s why it’s so popular. It’s easy,
it’s thoughtless, and it makes us feel validated.
We used to have no idea how loved we were. But now we do. The
day is that much brighter to know you have 23 friends.
Going online is just so much easier for us than meeting people
outside of cyberworld, and college students are very good at being
lazy. We no longer have to leave our rooms to feel connected. We no
longer have to work for our friends. But are friends real if they
don’t require any work or emotion on the part of either
party?
People are hopping onto Thefacebook.com bandwagon like their
social lives depended on it. At Harvard, where this addiction was
born, this may indeed be true. Just one month after it began on
Feb. 6, over 85 percent of their undergraduates were hooked on it,
according to the Stanford Daily.
In a few short months, Thefacebook.com has spread to blanket
more than 30 schools, including New York University, MIT, Stanford,
Yale and UC Berkeley, just to name a few.
For our part here at UCLA, only slightly more humble than
Harvard, we boast just under 3,000 students involved in this
so-called book of faces. That’s 3,000 people ““ about as
many people who voted for our next USAC president.
And this number is growing. Soon we may regress into a
cave-dwelling community, unused to daylight or even speaking in
person to our roommates.
Text will become the universal language. Poking will take on a
whole world of meaning.
Is this a step forward? No, not excepting one or two nerds who
are too far gone anyway.
We need to remember that the old adage “everything in
moderation” applies especially well to dangerous addictions.
Sometimes it’s gratifying to sit at the computer and tend
your garden of friends, but sometimes it’s important to go
out and water the plants face-to-face.
Thefacebook.com should be seen as its creator intended.
It’s supposed to be a supplement to real human interaction,
not a substitute for it.
Maybe meet a few people online. Maybe reconnect with a few old
friends. Maybe even search for a kindred soul who enjoys the same
cult movies you do. But for the sake of social survival, please
meet these people in person.
Most of us live within three blocks of one another ““
it’s not that hard to meet.
So step away from the computer. Greet the sunshine. Meet some of
your favorite characters from your Star Wars cards.
Jeff Schenck is a first-year undeclared student. E-mail him
at [email protected] if you are addicted to friends. Send
general comments to [email protected].
