Review: Move over, Clay: “˜Ultimate Idol’ takes the stage
By Daily Bruin Staff
May 5, 2004 9:00 p.m.
The competition couldn’t be fiercer as eight
multi-talented and captivating contestants on “Ultimate
Idol” strive to win luggage, a new Kia and a trip to
Bakersfield. With prizes like these, a fight to the end is
inevitable.
In an insane theater parody of Fox’s “American
Idol,” “Ultimate Idol,” directed by Mindy
Sterling, captures the hilarity of a hit reality TV show that takes
America by storm.
The battle is initiated by host Jerry Rubio (John Cervenka), a
perfect reality show host, complete with flawless blond hair and a
shimmering royal blue suit. (Ryan Seacrest would be proud.) Rubio
and a band of celebrity judges ““ Ray Needer (Dana Gould,
currently a writer for “The Simpsons”), Sookie Lane
(Lynne Stewart) and Tony Sepulveda (as himself)
““Â provide harsh, unconstructive and off-topic criticism
to contestants.
Contestant Bernadette Ashley (Antoinette Spolar Levine), a
34-year-old who dresses and acts like a mentally ill 9-year-old
pageant princess, delivers a performance full of sex, high notes,
uncoordinated dancing, pig tails and a baby doll dress. While her
performance is one for the ages, Ashley pales in comparison to
Lenny Gultch (Tim Bagley), a single, Desert Storm veteran who is
obsessed with Justin Timberlake. His frightening rendition of
“Killing Me Softly” scares not only the audience, but
the judges as well, as his eyes constantly pop out and his body
stiffens with each verse.
There’s also the fly, street-wise white boy from “da
hood” of La Cienega and Rodeo, the RV-bound,
stuck-in-the-’80s anorexic, the sexually ambiguous
50-year-old and the guy going through a midlife crisis. Not your
typical “American Idol” bunch.
Despite the laughable singing and dancing, the audience is
ultimately required to choose a winner. Last Monday night’s
“Ultimate Idol” turned out to be Avo Sardinianvitch
(Patrick Bristow). Sardinianvitch, a Middle Eastern mechanic at
Mobil who wears too much eyeliner, struggles with his English and
nearly starts a fight with the live band. His accent and hot temper
make the audience laugh hysterically as Sardinianvitch constantly
interrupts his own performance with threats to the band leader. The
show ends appropriately with a corny song and dance number that
includes all of the contestants.
The cast succeeds in portraying the outrageous characters in the
show, which essentially drives “Ultimate Idol.” The
show isn’t meant to be taken seriously, which says quite a
lot about the genuine article.
-Cristina De Leon
