San Francisco weddings another path to equality

I’m from the South; Florida, to be exact. I saw the signs
that said “colored” and “white” above water
fountains and bathroom doors.

I was there as a first-year Florida student in 1965, the year
after the Florida Legislative Investigation Committee was
disbanded, following eight years of terrorizing both National
Association for the Advancement of Colored People members and
homosexual professors in the state’s universities.

I was there when “Se habla Espanola” appeared in
Miami store windows, and later when the words changed to “We
speak English here.”

I was there in 1977 when Anita Bryant waged her “Save Our
Children” campaign after Miami added sexual orientation in
its non-discrimination law, only to have it rescinded soon after.
And as a result of Bryant’s hate-mongering, laws were created
in Florida that allowed the state to take my young children away
from me in 1979 when I came out as a lesbian.

I was there.

Same-sex marriage? In my life, this is a watershed moment; in
many ways, it’s the culmination of much of the work of people
from my generation and the jump-start of the work of generations to
come. As an educator, an activist and a lesbian, I am in awe of the
courage, the commitment and the deep act of love my friends and
colleagues displayed, as they stood in long, cold, rainy lines in
San Francisco to tie many integrated, intertwined knots of
love.

Civil marriage (distinct from religious marriage) ensures the
recognition needed for the broad range of benefits that help people
become family together. It strikes me as odd that some people,
especially those who espouse love in the name of various religious
ideologies, would care about who is engaged in the institution of
marriage.

I’m often asked (by terribly rude people) if I’m
religious ““ the question suggesting that if I’m a
lesbian, I must not believe in God. Sorry to disappoint, but I
deeply believe in God. In fact, I clearly understand that my sexual
orientation is one of God’s good and great gifts to me, for
which I am very thankful.

Isn’t the love between two consenting adults enough to
create a family? Isn’t the fact that two people want to grow
in life together enough? The answer, of course, is no. The bottom
line is that discrimination is an economic issue, as organizations
fund raise by inspiring fear in their constituents, using
homosexuality or abortion or whatever (can’t use race
anymore.)

Listen to the rhetoric. It’s not new. We heard it not that
long ago when this country was determining what depths of hell
we’d go to if people of different races were allowed to
marry. The arguments are identical. And they’re nothing but
old, tired, limp excuses for fund raising.

It’s also strange to me that same-sex marriage would be so
high on President Bush’s radar screen ““ especially in
an election year.

I learned long ago that when people protest too much, they
generally have some interesting items in their own closets. Or
perhaps it is there merely as a smoke screen to avoid serious
issues, like the economy, the environment and the fact that
we’re at war all over the world.

I learned not so long ago that I can’t change
anyone’s mind about anything, and as an academic I honor the
fact that people have opinions that are different from my own.

My hope is that each of us, regardless of our opinions about
same-sex marriage or homosexuality, will not impinge on the rights
of any other person to live with liberty and justice, in love and
for life, in this great country.

Until then, let the great acts of defiance ““ like the
Boston Tea Party or the Great San Francisco Marriage ““ be
understood as great acts of love, not only for self, but also,
equally, for this country. One day there will be no more
second-class citizens in the United States of America. I hope I
will be there.

Sanlo is the director of the UCLA LGBT Campus Resource
Center and a member of the students’ association
Communications Board.