Editorial: This V-Day, think outside the candy box

Welcome to fifth week: five days riddled with midterms before
you can unwind and enjoy a three-day weekend. But can you really
relax, or is the pressure just beginning to mount? If you’re
still standing on Friday, you’ve got two more, potentially
fatal tests before you ““ Friday the 13th and
Valentine’s Day.

But instead of avoiding ladders and black cats on Friday, for
fear they will destroy the chances for a lovely V-Day, try a little
diplomacy in order to gain a little tenderness.

Breakdowns in communication occur all the time in the land of
he/she loves me/loves me not, and understandably so, as defining
someone as a valentine is a tricky, tense issue.

Couples in brand-new relationships are forced to guess the other
person’s feelings and buy a gift or plan a date accordingly,
often pre-empting the status talk. If mind reading is favored over
direct conversation, subversive communication can push one
prospective partner to go overboard on the celebratory day.
Conversely, if the display of affection is ruled insubstantial, the
recipient may even threaten to jump ship.

Looking ahead to Valentine’s Day, it’s important to
head off possible problems by engaging in relationship dialogue.
Designating Feb. 14 as the day to pronounce one’s feelings
for a crush can be fruitful, but it can also be dangerous, as the
overzealous often employ shock communication.

Shy away from an “all-out media blitz” when planning
to woo a valentine. If you’re campaigning for love, make sure
it’s tasteful and personal. Placing huge signs on Bruin Walk,
purchasing a full-page Bruin Valentine, and storming a meeting of
the Undergraduate Students Association Council to ask for
councilmemebers to endorse your love will undoubtedly end in
defeat.

Make your case as a creative partner in the old-fashioned way
““ by direct discourse and thinking outside the candy box.
While it may be tempting to rely on outside lobbyists to perfectly
convey your emotions, original words and actions speak louder than
tired consumer cheesiness. While gifts are nice, don’t let
Hallmark, See’s Candies or a dozen roses subtly communicate
your feelings, and do the talking yourself.

Dialogue can be forged in many ways other than awkward, forced
conversation. Approach new, undefined relationships with frankness,
and brainstorm what Valentine’s Day celebration would be
appropriate instead of guessing and stressing over an effective
plan.

Work to lessen segregation at showings of “The Vagina
Monologues,” and use the outing as an educational experience
for both genders. Voice your opposition to out-dated gender roles
altogether, and girls, go ahead and make the move yourselves.

While one couple’s open, communicative response to the
Valentine’s Day dilemma won’t heal the world’s
broken hearts, each individual’s attempt to substitute
honesty for the trend of pressure and subtlety can help cupid hone
his aim.

And it may even make it easier to concentrate on studying for
midterms.