Online exclusive: Examine self, Greek system before pledging your allegiance

Two years ago, I entered UCLA hoping I would fit in. I wanted
everything in college to go right. A good social life was
definitely part of the plan, and I decided that a fraternity could
offer me the kind of social environment I was looking for. All I
had to do was to give up some of my personal time and agree to
consider people I knew nothing about as my “brothers.”
It didn’t seem like such a bad trade. On the first night of
school, I pledged a fraternity.

But as the first couple weeks of school dragged on, I realized
that my decision to join a fraternity had been based on fear
““ the fear of being alone, the fear of being an
“outsider.” I quickly realized that college is about
finding your own place in the real world. College is where you find
yourself and your own group of friends ““ rather than being
anointed “someone with friends.”

Several weeks into the quarter, I depledged from my fraternity.
One of the primary reasons I depledged was something I overheard in
the old haunts of Hedrick Hall. One day, as I was walking down the
hallway I heard someone say, “Have you ever seen a guy named
Roman?”

“No I think he is just a ghost,” a girl quickly
responded.

Over my several weeks of pledging and meeting people at the
house, I had not even had time to meet people on my own floor. I
realized that by joining a fraternity my first year at UCLA, I was
missing an important part of the college experience.

College is the first time that any of us have had the time and
the freedom to go out and discover who we are and what kind of
world we are living in. These discoveries are just as important as
the classes we take and the professions we decide upon. For me and
many people around me, Greek life is not the best path to take. For
me, joining a fraternity would have bred complacency and hindered
exploration.

The Greek system does have its place: You can gain leadership
abilities and lifelong friends. Many people learn what true
brotherhood is. Some find out who they really are.

For others, however, the Greek system becomes a security blanket
““ a way to continue their high school traditions of cliques.
Particularly those who pledge immediately without giving themselves
a chance to meet people at UCLA outside the Greek system. People
who pledge only for momentary fun or from a feeling of insecurity
are joining for the wrong reasons.

There is nothing wrong with the Greek system. I’m not
trying to belittle a community that generally does good work and
sustains a support system for people who might otherwise feel lost
on such a large campus. Just don’t join for the wrong
reasons. Don’t join because you’re afraid you
don’t know yourself. Don’t join because you’re
afraid you don’t know anyone else.

If you’re going to pledge, make sure you know what you
want and why.

Barbalat is an assistant Viewpoint editor.