Entering college single provides time for necessary self-discovery

High school is over and now it’s time to make the big
decisions. Obviously, your first important one has already been
made ““ which college to attend. More decisions will come your
way in the next few years ““ like with whom you want to live,
what major you should pick and eventually your career choice.

It is time to go out on your own and experience a new kind of
life. Everything you have ever known, every comfort zone you have
acquired so far, will no longer remain. College means meeting new
friends, living apart from family ““ and you can forget about
mom’s home-cooked food.

But however scary it may be, college will be the best time of
your life if you let it. In order to fully enjoy your first year,
you must cut all of those strings attaching you to your old life.
You need to set yourself free and not feel weighed down by old
drama.

Your first order of business should be to break up with that
boyfriend or girlfriend you think is the love of your life. Some of
you are currently attached and hoping to maintain the high school
relationship. Hopefully you have already considered that you will
have to deal with a long-distance relationship, unless of course
your significant other is also attending UCLA. The fact remains
that the separation puts a lot of strain on the relationship.

So far, you have only experienced your high school and
community. College brings an entirely new community of people
““ and a new set of temptations. Imagine being at a party
where everyone around you is dancing and making out. You see
couples all over the place and it makes you miss your special
someone. Your friends are meeting new people, but you feel guilty
about talking to or dancing with a new guy or girl because you are
already spoken for.

Maybe you decide that what your significant other does not see
will not hurt him or her, but that would not make for a very
healthy relationship. When those temptations arise, it is better to
be unattached so that you do not end up hurting someone else.
Better to break up before than cheat later.

Or perhaps you decide that you do not even like parties and the
temptations will have no effect on you. Even if you remain a hermit
in your room all year long, distance still means an extended time
apart.

Entering college is a difficult transition at first because you
do not have the regular 6-hour per day schedule anymore. Classes
are longer and they require more time and more studying. Feeling
the pressure of adjusting will not be easy when also having to meet
the demands of your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It is in college when you really discover who you are. In high
school, the pressures related to social status and groups are often
restricting. In college, all of the walls that existed in high
school come down and you no longer feel so much pressure to act in
a way approved of by others. It is difficult to really know who you
are in high school because the people around you and the activities
you are involved in have defined so much of who you are.

You might think that the person you are currently with is right
for you, but since your whole world has changed, you need to
redefine yourself from within. And, if you do not really know who
you are yet, how can you know with whom you belong?

Lawson is second-year world arts and culture
student.