Oscar Golden Moments

Memorable moments from the 75th annual Academy Awards held March
23: “¢bull; “The Pianist’s” surprising triumph in
Best Actor, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay
Miramax’s dual campaigning for “Chicago” and
“Gangs of New York” may have split the Best Director
vote for Rob Marshall and Martin Scorcese, clinching the award for
the infamous Roman Polanski. The victory for underdog Adrien Brody
over favorite Daniel Day-Lewis took everyone (including Brody
himself who mouthed “Holy, shit”) for a loop.

By Amber Noizumi and Anthony Bromberg, Daily Bruin Senior
Staff.

“¢bull; The audience booing Michael Moore off the stage The same
crowd that gave Moore a standing O quickly turned their cheers to
jeers when the vocal liberal went on an anti-war tirade
proclaiming, “We live in a time where we have fictitious
election results that elect a fictitious president. Shame on you,
Mr. Bush!” “¢bull; Adrien Brody in his post-victory elation
planting a big, fat smoocheroo on Halle Berry Even amid the chaos
in the world, God bless America for allowing a place where a human
being can make out with an involuntary (married) participant in
front of 30 million people. Some may call it sexual assault, but we
call it life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. “¢bull; Susan
Sarandon keeping her mouth shut The bleeding-heart liberal, known
for ranting about various political causes the moment a microphone
is placed within 30 feet of her, opted for a more subtle showing of
dissidence ““ flashing the peace sign. Or maybe she was just
high. “¢bull; Eminem winning Best Song for “8 Mile” We
all thought the Academy was too caught up in the Broadway fever of
Chicago to pick (gasp!) a rap song. What is the world coming to
when rap triumphs over show tunes and folk music? Well, at least
Eminem’s a white rapper. “¢bull; The revelation that Steve
Martin slept with Stitch, the freakish koala-looking alien from
“Lilo and Stitch” Don’t get us wrong, you could
cut the sexual tension with a knife, but really, who knew? “¢bull;
Jennifer Lopez not flaunting her breasts From her infamous
belly-button-low green gown to last year’s sheer frock she
wore sans brassiere, J.Lo opted this year for a pasty vomit-green
muumuu. It just doesn’t seem like the Academy Awards without
some gratuitous nudity.

Betcha didn’t know… “¢bull; Bono’s changing of the
lines in his performance of “Hands that Built America”
Since the activist didn’t get a chance to vocalize his
anti-war stance in an acceptance speech, Bono subtly threw in a
hint of his political fervor, changing the lines of “The
Hands that Built America” from “It’s early fall /
There’s a cloud on the New York skyline / Innocence dragged
across a yellow line” to “Late in the spring / Yellow
cloud on a desert skyline / Some father’s son / Is it his or
is it mine?” “¢bull; The voice-over announcement that Pedro
Almodovar was winning his first Academy Award even though
“All About My Mother” won Best Foreign Language Film in
2000. Somewhere, some squeaky voiced research assistant intern is
getting fired. “¢bull; Since Eminem decided to ditch the awards,
this is the first time in Oscar history that the winning song
hasn’t been televised. Good job, Marshall Mathers, ruin the
perfect attendance record for all of history.

Oh please … “¢bull; The Academy deciding to stroll out winners
from the past 75 years. It was understated genius as the camera
panned from familiar face to familiar face. And then panned some
more. And then pulled back for a group shot. And then zoomed back
in and panned some more. And then pulled back to give the announcer
a break as they showed the full group. And then zoomed in and
panned some more. Good god, that got us hot. “¢bull;
Too-cool-for-school Jack Nicholson donning his shades indoors
C’mon, Jackie, everyone knows that is so passé ““
unless you’re a) trying to hide your blood-shot eyes, b)
covering the bruises you acquired single-handedly saving the world
from mutant villains from outer space, or c) blind. “¢bull; Mickey
Mouse presenting an award alongside Jennifer Garner Was it just us
or was it some sort of cruel joke for the Academy to place the
homely Garner next to such an icon of brooding raw sex appeal? By
Amber Noizumi and Anthony Bromberg, Daily Bruin Senior Staff.