Plethora of choice, expectations stifle fidelity

Monogamy, or at least the idea of “forever,” is
quickly becoming obsolete.

We live in a world where the idea of being committed to one
person grows more and more uninviting. We are bombarded with
over-sentimentalized images of “true love” in a time
when most of us don’t even blink when we hear of marriages or
relationships ending after only a few weeks or months. Many factors
contribute to the impracticality of everlasting monogamy in this
day and age.

Our society has choices for everything. We’re taught as
children that we can choose any career we want; there is an endless
supply of products and services to choose from and every type of
food to eat. The backlash of living in an environment with so many
choices is, oftentimes, people feel uncomfortable choosing just one
thing. How can we be expected to choose one mate when we
aren’t even comfortable picking Honda over Nissan? The rate
of infidelity in this country is a telltale sign of people’s
refusal to choose and to stick with their choices. There are over
100 million people affected by infidelity, and the divorce rate
more than doubled between 1950 and 1990. Monogamy is usually
dependent on time. People grow tired of each other or begin to
fancy someone else. Because scientific advancement now allows us a
greater lifespan, it also deprives us of the idea of “happily
ever after.”

Another reason monogamy has become outdated is because forming
unions is no longer as essential as it once was. People used
to marry out of necessity ““ men for domesticity and women for
security. However, women are more able than ever to support
themselves emotionally, physically and financially. A trip to the
local sperm bank allows a woman to be a mother ““ without the
obligation of naming her child after her husband’s uncle
Eugene.

Men are free of the obligations monogamy demands as well. They
no longer suffer from stigmas associated with bachelorhood,
deciding to tend to their domestic needs themselves.

The media have also had a hand in monogamy’s demise. On
the one hand, they encourage fidelity with their Hollywood love
stories; on the other, they play mind games with us. We live in
unusual times where people refuse to see themselves realistically,
and believe they are entitled to the flawless individuals they see
in television and movies. Suddenly, everyone believes they are
alpha males or females, always looking to “do better,”
even when many people are lucky to have anyone at all.

The main solution to the problem of monogamy’s dwindling
relevance is simple: Stop having expectations. Our world grows more
complex day by day, and the last thing we need is to stress about
something that is supposed to be as sublime as love. Instead,
let’s accept each other’s faults. Ladies, as Chris Rock
says, “a man is only as faithful as his options.” And
let us not exclude women; our interest remains only as long as you
convince us you are the winner. By breaking down the ideas
associated with monogamy to fit more in line with our changing
world and with our nature, we will save ourselves a lot of grief.
Instead of letting emotions rule us when we feel we have been
“betrayed,” we should consider that humans have a hard
enough time choosing between Italian and Chinese, let alone finding
one person to spend a lengthy amount of time with.

Moreover, a lot of pain and frustration could be avoided within
human relations if people were simply more honest and
communicative. Letting people know your intentions is key, and
being honest about who you are and what you expect will ensure less
tension.

But first, be honest with yourself. If you know you enjoy
variety and are uncomfortable making choices, embrace it, and make
no apologies.

Sizgorich is a fourth-year studying English. E-mail her at
[email protected].