All sex, no love make Jack awfully desensitized

Hello. My name is Adir, and I am a
virgin. Huh? What? This isn’t the VA
(Virgins-Anonymous) meeting? Well, that’s okay. Since I
am proud to possess my virginity, I do not need a forum of fellow
virgins to express my thoughts.

The fact is, our society has been overrun by late-teen and early
twenty-year-old pop-stars who are “not that innocent”
and who want to get “dirty.” Most people begin their
sexual activity eight years before they’re married, and only
a quarter of non-virgins say that they were in love the first time
they had sex. That being said, I feel that at least one Daily
Bruin columnist should “represent” the
unadulterated side.

You see, I love life and want to enjoy it to its fullest. Case
in point: when I decide to have sex, I want to enjoy it as
much as possible. There is no doubt in my mind that this can
only be achieved with a girl I truly love (i.e. the girl I will
hopefully marry). Why? Because the emotional benefit a human
derives from a physical act is completely dependent on the emotions
he or she already feels.

For example, most of us have hugged people for whom we
have no intimate emotions. What do you “feel”
during such hugs? Not much, right? It’s just a
normal part of everyday life ““ of saying hello and goodbye.
But instead of hugging your friend, who you see everyday, imagine
you are hugging your boyfriend or girlfriend on his or her return
from a long vacation. This hug obviously “feels” much
better. It does not feel better because your physical sensory
receptors are sending different signals through your central
nervous system. It does not feel better because it is longer or
because your significant other has some secret hugging
“technique” that your friends do not have. This
hug is better because of the predisposed emotions you already feel
for this person.

Obviously, there is a difference between sex and hugs. Sex
involves more intricacies, which (assuming they’re performed
properly) could, in effect, enhance the feeling derived from the
act. But even the most advanced “sexual techniques” in
the world would have only a minimal effect if the receiving
partner’s mind is elsewhere, or if he or she has a
predisposition towards the other person that would not allow him or
her to enjoy such techniques.

You might say, what’s wrong with having
“not-the-best sex” for a couple years? Can’t one
wait to settle down with that special someone and have the
“special sex” later? No.

With sex, just like every other physical pleasure in the world,
one can easily become desensitized to its emotional benefits. From
skydiving to eating chocolate, there are no exceptions. The more
frequently physical pleasure is experienced, the less special it
feels. Therefore, by not having any sexual partners now, I am
effectively making sure I will not be desensitized to sex’s
emotional benefits. This will help make the eventual sexual
relationship that I plan to have as special as possible.

I do not believe it is pure coincidence that those who are
sexually active before marriage are 71 percent more likely to
divorce than those who are virgins on their wedding night. People
who remain virgins before they are married commit to an ideal which
they set for themselves. They choose not to settle for second best
and avoid divorce by overcoming challenges which may arise during
the marriage.

So to all my fellow virgins: we must not allow our society,
brainwashed by Music Television’s Spring Break Marathons, to
make us feel ashamed of out virginity. We should be proud of it.
The next time someone tells you that “it’s
gettin’ hot in here,” you can confidently answer:
“So leave your clothes on and turn on the air
conditioner.”

Levy is a fourth-year computer science and engineering student.
E-mail him at [email protected].