Coming out is a continuous process; no apologies necessary

By Lisa Concoff

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people live the coming
out process every day; even the most openly gay folks have to come
out to new people on a daily basis. So this year, when I have to
give a nice little introductory speech in any one of my classes,
I’m adding a little something to my schtick: I’m coming
out.

Yep, that’s right. I’m queer. I’m a
ho-mo-sexual ““ and I’m completely unapologetic.

If you have any doubt about how frequently gay people have to
come out, imagine that every single person around you right now is
gay and assumes you are as well. Does it matter to you that they
think you’re something you’re not? How much time will
pass before you start proclaiming your heterosexuality?

Our “how I came out” stories have a beginning and a
middle, but no end in sight. National Coming Out Week serves as a
call to those who feel invisible and as a lesson to those who
pretend we are.

Oh, and speaking of invisible entities… did you hear
we’ve updated the gay agenda? Behold “Operation
Queer.”

Item One: Recruit, recruit, recruit. It’s all about
membership. I say we join the evangelists on Bruin Walk and try to
increase our numbers. See who can yell the loudest. On second
thought, maybe we’d better stick to infiltrating the academic
departments. After all, you don’t just become gay; someone
has to teach you how.

Item Two: Reach out to those who reach out to you. Be fair and
open-minded ““ tell the sign-toting protester guys
you’ll consider going straight if they’ll consider
becoming lesbians. When they say, “But we’re
men,” tell them, “Well that’s your
problem.”

Item Three: If people can’t deal with the gender of your
significant other, that’s their problem, not yours. Remember,
immaturity can be fun! Refer to heterosexual spouses as
“indentured sexmates.” When your homophobic classmate
mentions his girlfriend, politely ask him not to flaunt his sexual
proclivities.

And be visibly offended when somebody assumes you’re
straight. Say, “Excuse me? I am not a hetero. Um, not that
there’s anything wrong with that…”

Item Five: Fill in the gaps on the calendar. Gay Pride month is
cool, but pride parades preach to the gay chorus. Our next targets:
January and March. If we garner enough Gay Days, maybe we could
even be queer year-round.

Item Six: Say it with me: “I’m queer, and I’m
not sorry.”

Item Seven: Be fabulous.

UCLA has thousands of new students this fall, and if we can
cause just a few of them to say, “You mean I’m not
alone?” then we’ll have served our purpose ““
though we’ll be happier if we nab a few hundred. As for the
other couple thousand, we’ll settle for a heartfelt,
“I’m asking; tell me.”