Show pride for the blue and gold

Kobe Bryant was swirling around the now-crowded main lobby, Dr.
J was somewhere nearby, and Snoop Dogg (and his entourage) had yet
to enter. But I was too hungry to notice.

The ESPY awards are very well-catered, and at this point in the
evening, certainly only a few chocolate brownies remained on the
long table of plenty.

Ducking into the dining area, it would’ve taken an
apparition of the Holy Triumvirate to take my mind off the dessert
tray. It was quite a surprise, then, to see Chris Berman, John
Madden and Wayne Gretzky munching and chatting around one of the
dining tables near the wall.

Brownies aside, this was a quasi-sacred opportunity I needed to
seize. I slid my tape recorder out of sight into my suit pocket,
gathered up my wits and a Vanilla Coke, and took a seat next to
Boomer.

“J.P. Hoornstra, Daily Bruin,” I said, extending my
hand.

“Chris Berman,” he said, complimenting his calm, yet
obviously powerful, voice with a firm handshake.

“Chris, a few years back, UCLA was named the top jock
school in the country by Sports Illustrated,” I said,
“Do you think that reputation still holds?”

I’ll never forget his answer:

“You know, I just don’t know enough about college
sports to say.”

I must have taken a sip of the Vanilla Coke to prevent my jaw
from dropping. But after immersing myself in a culture of Division
I athletics for the previous 10 months, my conversation with Berman
was a useful reality check.

For every one person who knows that UCLA has won more national
championships than any other school in the country, there’s
probably five who can tell you that Mike Jackson ranks third among
active pitchers with a career .220 opponents’ batting
average.

It’s true. Mike Jackson.

Berman and I proceeded to discuss the irony of how he, an
alumnus of Brown University, and I were both Bruins.

I’m sure during his college days Berman did his homework
on the best Bruin athletes of the day and their potential nicknames
(“That’s a diving stop made by Billy “˜I want my
Hershey bar with’ Almon!”).

Sports broadcasters like Berman, sports writers such as myself,
and the sports fans that comprise the Daily Bruin reading audience
must get their feet wet in college before moving on to the
professional ranks of sports fandom. The time will come when we can
paint ourselves silver and black, don a leather cape, affix silver
spikes around our neck and wrists, and sit amongst the Raider
Nation during a Monday Night Football game ““ or contribute to
similar idiocy at some other professional sporting venue.

But for now, as always, the nationally broadcast images from the
Rose Bowl require a blue and gold backdrop to keep college football
the picturesque product that it always has been. If you’ve
ever turned on a television on a Saturday morning, you can see
it’s a formula that works.

The band blaring, cheerleaders cheering, all to the sweet tune
of Keith Jackson belting “Whoa, Nellie!” ““
what’s not to like?

And definitely do your homework. Please memorize these sticking
points; they will be on the test.

“¢bull; Football and men’s basketball games cost money.
All other home games are absolutely free.

“¢bull; First UCLA vs. USC game on campus: Women’s
volleyball, November 15, Pauley Pavilion.

“¢bull; The most fun you’ll probably have at a UCLA vs.
USC home game this year: Football, November 23, Rose Bowl.

“¢bull; Never wear red to any home game, regardless of who UCLA
is playing.

“¢bull; Part of the student fees are recreation fees;
you’re getting charged for the mere existence of the Wooden
Center and all those IM sports. Might as well use them.

“¢bull; Shaq’s toe surgeon works in the Med Center. This
is relatively useless information, but I thought I’d throw it
out there.

Berman’s missing out on an important realm of American
sports culture. The UCLA athletic scene is one of the most dynamic
among the normal universities in the country (as opposed to the
handful of abnormal universities out there, i.e. Nebraska, where I
believe it’s possible to major in football).

Do allow yourself to get distracted by Bruin sports. You
won’t regret it later on.