Recipes for Hot Sex

By Marcelle Richards
DAILY BRUIN SENIOR STAFF
[email protected]

Say goodbye to Betty Crocker and hello to Dr. Feelgood ““
it’s time to take the baking to the bedroom.

“We were always taught the way to a man’s heart is
through his stomach ““ forget that, it’s about six
inches lower,” said Dr. Joan Irvine to an audience of
retirees, married couples and a group of younger women having a
“sex in the city night out” Tuesday.

The motley crew brought numerous concerns to the intimacy
workshop, but they all wanted the same thing.
Mind-blowing-sex-like-you-were-20.

It had been a while for some, who had trouble remembering what
their parts were supposed to do.

Others needed coaxing to bring the honeymoon lingerie back into
their marriage.

Some were more than eager but just needed some guidance.

“I’m trying to find out about hot sex,” said
Ora Parker, slapping her husband on the leg. “I came all
wide-eyed.”

By the end of the night she and the others were ready to trade
in their pots and pans for some different hardware ““
vibrators, handcuffs, really anything goes ““ or so the doctor
ordered.

“Whatever is safe and consensual is okay,” Levine
said, sharing tips from her book, “Recipes for Hot
Sex.”

“It’s just about adding variety.”

Most weren’t quite ready for what they were about to
hear.

“I’m going to be graphic because sex is
graphic,” Levine said in her disclaimer. “I may use a
four letter word but it’s nothing you haven’t heard
before.”

The lights went off and eyes closed shut. The workshop savored
foil-wrapped chocolate, which contains the same chemical produced
by women during sex.

Levine told the group to remember a night of great sex: the
sounds, the smells, the touches.

“Before you have a romantic evening, focus,” she
said, turning on the lights and shifting the attention to her bag
of tricks.

Lo and behold, there was the Pocket Rocket. Levine waved it
around like an airplane as the mini-vibrator hummed just above the
giggles.

“This is a really good one because it’s not
intimidating,” she said.

Despite pulling out a nine-inch dildo to break the ice, nothing
could prepare the crowd “”mdash; many of them who had never seen a
running vibrator, let alone used one “”mdash; for the club-sized
Hitachi Magic Wand, the “Cadillac of vibrators.”

“I give that to all my girl friends. You can buy it at
Sav-On,” Levine said, holding up the multi-tasked monstrosity
in a manner only mirrored by the Statue of Liberty with her
torch.

Sexual salvation may only be a pack of batteries away.

Levine encouraged everyone to experiment, an approach used in
research by the Female Sexual Health Center, the sponsor for the
event.

According to clinical nurse Gladys Castro, the use of vibrators
in the lab is one of the ways to find what works for each woman so
she can overcome sexual dysfunction.

Many women nodded when they heard 75 percent of women
can’t climax with a man. But hardly anyone raised their hands
when asked if they knew about female sexual dysfunction.

Fewer knew about the powers of the silver bullet organ, the
clitoris.

Levine said most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm,
which a vibrator may be better suited to than a penis.

“There is no way you could move that fast, you’d get
a heart attack,” she said to slightly discouraged husbands,
boyfriends and lovers.

But many were back in high spirits when she pulled out other
suggested enhancers ““ garter belts, stockings and for the
naughty, a whip.

Women elbowed the men when a pair of red pull-apart boxers were
unveiled.

“You think that’s sexy?” one husband said to
his wife. She smiled.

“And I only brought part of my toy box,” Levine
said.

The fears of impotence, fat thighs or simply being out of
practice seemed to be fading.

It was time to tread more dangerous waters.

“When you’re having sex, at the point your partner
is having an orgasm, touch them in a place you can touch in a
public place and say something, like “˜Oh my
god,'” Levine explained. “When you’re in
public, touch your partner and say “˜Oh my god.’
It’s great foreplay and you can do it over the
phone.”

Change the location and have sex on your partner’s
desk.

“If you manage to do this, every time he sees that desk
he’s going to be thinking about you on that desk with your
stockings and garter belt.

“That’s anchoring.”

Anchoring is affiliating certain actions to certain places. For
example, having sex on a desk will forever connect that furniture
with fornication.

By building on memories that are created during sex, lovers can
remind each other and keep the cycle going.

The pent up sexual energy makes sex even better, Levine
argues.

“If you’re ever on a big truck looking down,
you’d be surprised at the number of men masturbating,”
she said.

A lover can take advantage of this by calling to say “pull
over.”

“Play along, have your vibrator right there. You can
pretend and go “˜Oh god!'” Levine said.
“That’s what all the 900 number girls do.”

The Internet is also another tool to incorporate. E-mail and
instant messages for cyber sex are ways to build up the moment to
come.

Levine also encouraged mutual masturbation and, if caught in a
moment of inspiration, role-playing.

She played the cheerleader with her former husband when his
baseball team scored 10 runs in one inning. Giving the T.V. some
steep competition, Levine hit a home run of her own with her
husband on the couch.

The most important premise ““ being comfortable enough
to talk about personal wants. Levine suggests making a list of
things to do. Partners can ask what the other wants, and in bed,
choose to perform the requests.

“One of the things you don’t want to do is not have
sex,” she said.

“Go out and get new lingerie, read a book, get some
ideas,” she added. “It’s about stepping outside
the box, it’s about stepping outside your comfort
zone.”

Contact the Female Sexual Medical Center at 310-794-2497.