Kids need their dodge ball; ban is unjustified

  Jeff Eisenberg E-mail Eisenberg at
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It seems like Americans are always fighting against something.
We’ve had a war on drugs, a war on terrorism, a war on
poverty and now a war on dodge ball.

That’s right, dodge ball.

Recently, school districts in six states including New York and
Massachusetts outlawed the “barbaric” game from
physical education classes. Their reasoning: the aggressive nature
of the sport breeds violent behavior among children and motivates
the strong to harass the weak.

What’s next? Should we ban “capture the flag”
for its unmistakable militaristic undertones?

As ridiculous as it may seem to most of us, the great dodge ball
debate has garnered the attention of the mainstream media of late.
HBO’s “Real Sports” outlined the controversy last
week, while Fox News spent an entire hour assessing the issue
several months ago.

One of the major advocates of prohibiting dodge ball is
filmmaker Art Jones, whose 1996 film “Dodge Ball”
argues that the game has “derailed an entire generation of
Americans.” On his Web site, Jones goes even further,
identifying dodge ball as “the overlooked menace “¦ that
democratically leveled millions of innocents with a red rubber
ball.”

It is difficult for me to consider an elementary school pastime
as a viable threat to society when I can find a drug dealer on a
street corner more easily than a hot dog vendor at a baseball
game.

In fact, I believe that unshaven, new-age radicals such as Jones
pose a far greater potential risk than dodge ball.

Jones was undoubtedly the awkward-looking kid clad in a
plaid-collared shirt and drawstring pants with an elastic waistband
who was picked last for every game at recess. Unfortunately, while
most of these kids have moved on with their lives, Jones and other
anti-dodge ballers have turned their childhood vendettas into
enduring quests for revenge.

Perhaps the most absurd claim that dodge ball opponents have
made is that the game could be a breeding ground for the aggression
that later manifests itself in school shootings. How can a game
that allows participants to vent their anger peacefully be
responsible for more violence in the future?

The truth is that America has gotten softer than leftover
cottage cheese, and I am sick and tired of it.

Dodge ball certainly creates an environment in which the best
players single out the weak, but focusing an attack on an
opponent’s most vulnerable player is not exactly a novel
concept in competitive sports.

If these mock turtleneck-clad, herbal tea-sipping losers had
their way, the youth sports landscape could change
dramatically.

Little League batters would receive unlimited swings every plate
appearance because a strike-out could damage their self-confidence
irreparably. High school squads could chart victories and
near-victories to lessen the psychological impact of a loss.

Since we are so insistent on raising self-esteem among
school-children, then dodge ball is the least of our worries. A
more effective solution would be to ban algebra, the root of most
middle school misery.

Dodge ball is a game with which we have all grown up, a piece of
nostalgia as American as fireworks on the fourth of July. To
prohibit this game is to surrender the nation to the politically
correct.

If our educators really have the best interests of the children
in mind, then they should be commended, but it is hard to believe
that dodge ball is the scourge of the playground they make it out
to be.

Parents and educators should welcome the antagonism that dodge
ball fosters. The fierce competition can only help to prepare
children for what awaits them later in life.