LARAM outstrips other martial arts

  Eli Karon If you e-mail Karon at
[email protected]
he promises not to respond with "Next Question."

Anette’s a bad ass, don’t be deceived. She’ll
f*$# you up,” Aaron Cohen announces to his class.

Anette is a petite 64-year-old woman who you don’t want to
cross. Trust me.

I attended a class on Israeli self-defense, a style known as
LARAM (pronounced La-Rahm). Cohen, our instructor, is an expert in
LARAM, which is Hebrew for “specialized street
combat.”

As one of eight people in the class, I couldn’t help but
notice the demographics of the group. The participants ranged from
the 64-year-old Anette to three young women in their twenties to my
brother and myself, a couple of college kids.

“LARAM was developed by the soldiers in the unit I served
in to be able to operate in a built-up fighting area without the
use of lethal force,” Cohen said. “The system was
developed for the soldiers, by the soldiers to be able to defend
themselves utilizing the most natural instincts and natural
aggressiveness.”

As far as I’m concerned, aggressiveness is not something
you often see in a kid from Beverly Hills. But then Cohen
isn’t your typical Beverly Hills kid.

At age 26 he has fought in an elite unit of the Israeli Defense
Force and been a bodyguard for Hollywood names like Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan and Brad Pitt. I can see Brad Pitt
wanting someone to protect his pretty face, but if Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan actually need bodyguards, you know
this guy is legit.

As the only American to ever volunteer and be accepted to this
sect of the military, Cohen’s three-and-a-half years in the
special forces trained him to be the best.

  MAIYA HOLIDAY Sports writer Eli Karon, right, takes a
shot to the face from columnist Adam Karon, right, as he learns the
self-defense art form of LARAM.

“If you’re going to do something, you are going to
give the best of yourself,” Cohen said.

LARAM is the best unofficial style of self-defense of
Cohen’s unit. Never heard of LARAM? That’s because
Cohen and his men helped create the system just six years ago. At
least he doesn’t have much of a head start on me.

I picked up the basics rather quickly, and then Cohen dropped me
with a straight left jab. No, but seriously, if safe and effective
self-defense is what you desire, look no further. Other forms just
cannot compare.

But back to the Meridian Sports Club, where Anette is calling me
out from across the room with a mean glare as a river of sweat is
running down my back. According to Cohen, we all have an aggressive
side to our psyche.It’s his job to massage it out. Apparently
Anette’s aggression is at surface level, because she went
nuts on the poor sap holding the kicking pad.

After watching Anette, I realized Cohen shouldn’t have
much trouble extracting my inner-fierceness.

Throughout the class, Cohen gives special attention to each
individual. The special attention he gave me consisted of shoving,
hitting, throwing basketballs and talking trash. Don’t be
disillusioned here. All of the antagonizing actions directed my way
are crucial to preparing for an actual confrontation.

If you still don’t understand what differentiates LARAM
from most martial arts, think of it this way: it’s like what
the Navy SEALS learn versus what you would learn in an after-school
karate class.

“LARAM is the Gucci of self-defense,” Cohen
chuckled.

After punching, kicking, blocking and sweating for one
half-hour, it becomes apparent what sets LARAM apart from other
modes of self-defense. Having an Israeli commando screaming in your
face for an hour makes the pads look less like leather pillows and
more like your arch-nemesis.

So don’t be surprised if my editors don’t show up
for work tomorrow due to severe bludgeoning of the face, because I
brought the fury.

The class breeds confidence, aggressiveness and intelligence.
Cohen, however, readily admits he is not a violent person, and will
be the first to tell you that LARAM is to be used only as a last
resort.

“Everybody has the right to be able to protect
themselves,” Cohen said. “That’s a right you have
as an American. What we’re trying to do is go from a place of
passiveness to a place of activeness. Being able to internalize
rational thought, thus avoiding impulsive decision-making. We do
not act on impulsivity.”

Hmmmm … internalize rational thought … and break your nose
in two places, extract your eyeball free of charge, and render you
impotent in one lightning quick kick.

Cohen stressed the need to maintain self-control, all the while
encouraging me to block, punch and kick my brother in the
testicles. So much for being an uncle. Like I said, the
aggressiveness wasn’t hard to milk out of me. I swear I was
just internalizing rational thought … I can’t really
explain what I felt, but I do know that 20 years of being a younger
sibling flashed before my eyes.

Cohen answered two-thirds of my inquiries with an evasive
“Next question.”

Has he ever killed anybody? “Next question.” How
often does he use LARAM to beat people up? “Next
question.” How many different ways can he kill a man?
“Next question.”

He will tell you everything you need to know prior to attending
his class, however.

“Bring a healthy attitude,” Cohen said. “Just
bring the need to succeed, that’s all.”

If the class gave me as much confidence as Cohen has in his
everyday interactions, I would be like Randy Johnson pitching to
high school kids. The man is a deadly weapon, though the only thing
he’s looking for when he goes out is a good time.

If he’s in Maloney’s and some guy starts talking
trash, Cohen would try to get himself out of the situation. Only
when pushed to his limit would Cohen utilize his extensive training
in LARAM. He would take care of business, then he’d drink the
guy’s beer.

The Meridian Sports Club and Aaron Cohen offer unique
opportunity you won’t find anywhere else, unless you enlist
in the Israeli Army. After the workout I experienced cramping in my
calves, sore arms, and got a bruised lip (my brother got a little
overzealous). I also got a waiver form and signed up for next
week’s class.