Screen Scene

  Out Cold Out Cold, a movie about snowboarding, is a new
comedy.

“Out Cold” Starring Flex Alexander and A. J.
Cook Directed by Brendan Malloy, Emmett Malloy

If the new gross-out comedy “Out Cold” were to
snowboard down a mountain, it would run into a tree and, hopefully,
die. Using numerous failed attempts to be funny, the new Disney
film tells the story of five rambunctious 20-something snowboarders
who desperately hope to save their beloved historic Alaskan ski
resort from becoming a victim of corporate greed. During their
quest, of course, all of the characters find themselves in a number
of wild situations. It’s an obvious attempt to cash in on the
success of the recent cinematic barrage of pie-humping and mouse
swallowing, but in “Out Cold,” the situations are just
not all that funny. In one of the movie’s nuttiest scenes,
one of the young snowboarders, Luke (Zach Galifianakis), is ditched
abruptly by a gorgeous blonde right before getting it on with her
in a hot tub. In hopes of quelling the need left over from his
brief sexual encounter, Luke turns to some wild lovin’ from
the ever-so-generous hot tub jet. Luke soon learns that what goes
in doesn’t always come out, as his penis had to be pried from
the hot tub jet the following morning. Bummer, dude. While the
scene has potential to be fairly memorable, it is poorly done and
relies purely on the absurdity of the situation to be funny. The
physical comedy regularly involves too much vulgarity and too
little cleverness to do anything beyond causing a nausea epidemic
among the audience. The film also seems to mimic the classic raunch
films that have come before it and feels ridiculously formulaic.
There’s the wild John Belushi frat boy character, Luke, the
level-headed semi-normal guy with girl problems, and the gorgeous
dream woman married to the successful 50-year-old businessman. Even
the extreme snowboarding clips seem reminiscent of the surfing
movies of the ’80s. Only this time, the daredevils are on the
snowy slopes of Alaska instead of the sandy beaches of California.
While the film will occasionally elicit a brief chuckle, audiences
are probably better off staying home and watching snowboard
bloopers.

Suneal Kolluri “Spy Game”
Starring Robert Redford and Brad Pitt Directed by Tony
Scott

Boy scouts are always prepared, but seasoned CIA operatives know
the most valuable life lessons. Lesson 1: Never leave the house
without a pocketknife and chewing gum. Lesson 2: When it comes to
you or them, send flowers. Lesson 3: Set aside money for retirement
and don’t spend it on anyone. In a somewhat far-fetched, but
consistently entertaining action flick, Brad Pitt stars as a CIA
operative, Tom Bishop, alongside Robert Redford, who plays his
retiring mentor Nathan Muir. After Bishop is arrested for espionage
in a Chinese prison, Muir spends his last day on the job working
against the rest of the agency trying to save his friend’s
life. The story unfolds as Muir recounts his history with Bishop
from their first meeting during the war in Vietnam to his training
in Berlin to the last time they spoke in Beirut. All the while, the
time is posted periodically to remind the audience that
Bishop’s 8 a.m. execution is quickly approaching while the
CIA head honchos, who should be negotiating to rescue him, are
chatting in a conference room. Although the movie fails to develop
the deep relationship between the men, the exciting editing and
cinematography more than compensate for the holes in the script.
The dizzying camera angles, strategically timed black and white
moments, and choppy snapshot scenes offer up enough eye-candy to
give an eye-cavity. Catherine McCormack, as Bishop’s love
interest, Elizabeth Hadley, steals many of her scenes as an AIDS
worker in Beirut refugee camps. Pitt and Redford do not fall short,
however, showing their best talents as the most subtle of
melodramatic men. There is action and suspense for him. There is a
little touch of romance and, well, Brad Pitt for her. All that, in
addition to the intelligent plot twists that keep everyone
guessing, give the movie a universal appeal. “Spy Game”
is a great break from reality that lets the audience feel they are
CIA insiders, if just for a couple hours.

Shana Dines “Barstow 2008″
Starring Paul Willson, Mindy Sterling Directed by Bob
Morrow

Finally, a film that redefines the term “Special
Olympics.” The witty indie “Barstow 2008″ takes a
mockumentary look at the very special town of Barstow, Calif.,
official pit stop of disrespectful Hollywood types on their way to
Vegas. The film recounts the absurd, mildly depressing exploits of
the town’s down-on-his-luck dreamer, Benny Finch (Paul
Willson). Our hero, who prides himself on his status as
Barstow’s first male manicurist, finds himself suddenly out
of a job and labeled a loser at 50. In order to bolster his
self-esteem and bring desperately needed revenue to the Finch
family household, he single-handedly undertakes a campaign to
convince the Olympic committee to bring the
“twenty-oh-eight” games to his hometown. “Barstow
2008″ is brimming with with lowbrow, but never crude, humor.
Most of the jokes stem from the preposterous mental processes of
the main characters. Take Finch’s children, for example. Both
have unusual ways of dealing with their dad’s reputation in
the town; his slow-witted son, Erik Estrada Finch (David
Bonfadini), enjoys blowing up chicken carcasses in the desert, and
his daughter, Farrah Fawcett Finch (Christy Scott), has developed
an erotic fixation with the elderly. She once infiltrated a
retirement home and posed as a nurse so that she could treat an
unsuspecting old man to a sponge bath. The comic delivery of most
of the actors, particularly these three, is pitch perfect; their
attitudes of innocence and honesty enable them to consistently pull
off even the most ridiculous of punchlines. And ultimately,
Finch’s undying faith in his dream will inspire even the most
cynical of audience members to cheer him on. He doesn’t see
the obvious problems inherent in what he is trying to do, but
really, who would want to point them out to him? The film looks as
if it sprang from somebody’s personal home movie archives;
there are plenty of goofy zooms and pans, and lots of windy,
hand-held exterior shots which capture the dusty dementia that is
Barstow. It has an organic, rumpled feel that is absolutely
engaging and appropriate. “Barstow 2008″ may have the
obvious limitations of a low-budget picture, but its inspired
premise and rare comic genius are priceless qualities which are
usually pissed away by most of those Hollywood types. This pit stop
town proves to be a veritable treasure trove of originality.

Kelly Haigh