Team had a good life, will be missed

  Mike Maloney In lieu of flowers, Maloney
urges you to make donations in the Bruins’ honor to the "Get Me to
Vegas Foundation." Or you can e-mail him at [email protected].

The Bruin football team, once a national title contender and
Pac-10 favorite, passed away Saturday afternoon at a local football
stadium. The cause of death was not announced, but a hospital
official did confirm that the club had incurred severe trauma to
the backside. USC was thought to be involved.

The team is survived by its loving coach, Bob Toledo, his staff
and thousands of heartbroken fans.

The 2001 team was just 10 games old.

“¢bull; “¢bull; “¢bull;

Okay, so maybe it’s too early for the obituary. After all,
the Bruins do have one game remaining on the schedule and are bowl
eligible with six wins. But let’s face it, Toledo sounded an
awful lot like a grieving parent during his postgame press
conference.

“This is a trying time for the players and coaches,”
he told reporters.

And don’t forget the Bruin faithful. For those in
attendance at the Coliseum on Saturday, the long walk back to the
parking lot had the distinct feel of a funeral procession. They
came for a football game; what they got was an execution. Before
the first quarter had even ended, L.A.’s entire baby blue and
gold contingent was in mourning.

The bloodbath began on USC’s first possession, when the
Trojans used a 66-yard pass play on third-and-13 to spearhead a
lightning quick scoring drive. Bruin fans should have known then
that their team’s hopes were dead on arrival.

The carnage continued when a Cory Paus throw skipped off the
hands of Brian Poli-Dixon right to ‘SC defensive back Antuan
Simmons. While it took a Stevie Francis crossover move to corral
the ball, Simmons made the interception and sprinted past a
bewildered Poli-Dixon for a touchdown. The misery was only just
beginning.

On the ensuing possession, after a quick three-and-out by UCLA,
Trojan safety Troy Polamalu blocked Nate Fikse’s punt. The
ball was recovered by ‘SC at the Bruin 29-yard line and would
lead to a field goal, yet another nail driven into the
Bruins’ coffin. UCLA’s flatline first-half performance
saw them go down 17-0. Things never got any better.

In the third quarter, Chris Howard, the Trojans’
third-string running back, left a sea of UCLA tacklers in his wake
as he dashed 32 yards for another ‘SC touchdown. If you
listened closely, you could hear the opening bars of
“Taps” as Howard pranced into the endzone.

By the time Scott McEwan was picked off by Kevin Arbet a quarter
later, rigor mortis had already set in for the Bruins.

All told, UCLA accumulated just 114 yards of total offense. And
the team’s inability to move the ball was confounded by
myriad turnovers, missed blocking assignments and blown tackles.
The fact is the Bruins dug their own grave all afternoon.

Toledo’s postgame eulogy didn’t pull any
punches.

“We couldn’t make any plays. We were totally
inept,” he said.

Almost without warning, the Bruins have lost four games in a row
and sit tied for sixth place in the Pac-10 with Oregon State. They
are dangerously close to missing out on the postseason altogether.
It’s almost impossible to believe that this train wreck of a
team is the same club that opened the year 6-0.

There was a time when these Bruins warded off tough teams like
Alabama, Ohio State and Washington with relative ease. There was a
time when opposing offenses had to receive special written
permission from the UCLA defense just to get a peek at the endzone.
There was a time when DeShaun Foster ran all over the opposition,
pounding them into submission. There were good times this
season.

They’ll be missed.