Cartoons paved the way for gays on TV

  Adam Skalman Skalman is a second-year
American literature and culture student who, like you, enjoys
backrubs and gum. E-mail him at [email protected]. Click
Here for more articles by Adam Skalman

Your TV is gay. I’m sure you’ve noticed his odd
behavior. In the past few years, he ““ yes, “he”
… TVs are all male unless they are cute, small, and kept in the
kitchen ““ he has been bringing into your home an assortment
of quirky and colorful buddies, quietly at first, wondering if
you’d notice. Gee, my TV has a lot of single friends, you
thought suspiciously, and all of them are so trenchantly witty and
style-conscious. Then that quirky blonde explained it all (Ellen,
not Clarissa, who I hear is straight but dabbles in wicca).
Hindsight kicked in and realization took hold. But it was so
obvious, you think. Maybe my TV had a plan. Maybe, just maybe, he
has been secretly acclimating me, weatherproofing me for the
current deluge of TV gayness. Shows are “gayer” than
ever, and my TV prepared me and taught me tolerance early, so I
wouldn’t be too shocked, so I wouldn’t seem unhip. How
socially conscious of him, how prescient. What a nice guy! You may
think that this is a recent phenomena, that the slow arrival of
homosexuality onto the TV landscape began when Roseanne made out
with that chick from Central Park West. But I think it started way
earlier than that. Maybe I read a lot into the TV that I watched as
a kid, like most media-obsessed gay kids probably did, searching
for compatriotism in a TV population seemingly devoid of those like
me. While Will and Jack are out (and totally in), I have had gay TV
friends since I was in jammies with feet. An untouted few, a ragtag
group of animated gay-rights visionaries, quietly made their
presence known every Saturday morning. Their creators and animators
may have painted them a little on the campy side, but they were
still way ahead of their time. The following is a list ““ nay!
a tribute to ““ those gay toons who were (at least to me) out
and proud about it, even if their cartoon friends and real-life
audiences were completely in the dark. Thanks, guys!

  Illustration by JARRETT QUON/Daily Bruin Vanity
Smurf

Dude, was this guy gay! He filled to a T the 1980s gay male
paradigm so stereotypically it was a joke. Completely obsessed with
his looks, he carried his mirror around like a valley girl keeps a
portable curling iron in the glove compartment of her Rabbit
convertible. And when all the Smurfs marched around like little
blue ROTC cadets in their dress whites, Vanity zagged slightly
leftward, wearing that oh-so-stylish flower behind his ear, always
the Smurfiest dresser. I’m sure he scoured the local
Nordstrom Rack, searching in vain for something other than white
hats and diapers. I’m sure he hated the way he looked in
white and was fraught with jealousy over Papa Smurf’s
fabulous red duds. So self-obsessed, he failed to realize the huge
blessing that he had been given. Living in a town with only one
eligible bachelorette afforded him, I assume, an enviably large
dating pool, with Handy, Hefty and Brainy (I love a man in glasses)
lining up outside his toadstool like sailors on shore leave.
Smurftastic!

Snagglepuss I don’t know how many of you
remember this guy. He was the swingingest cat aboard Yogi
Bear’s Spruce Goose. Kind of like the Pink Panther’s
hipper, younger (and gayer) brother, the one who really knew how to
party. Imagine the Wildean urbanity of Rupert Everett in the
wardrobe of a Chippendale’s dancer: starchy white cuffs and
collar and a perfectly knotted bow tie. He always punctuated his
saucy sentences with a perfectly pitched “Ev-en!” (For
instance: “This shindig needs a little Gloria Gaynor and some
martinis ev-en!”) Being stuck on a flying cruise ship with
such backwoods bores as Quick-Draw McGraw and Magilla Gorilla must
have been a royal drag for Snag. He needed a cooler crowd to run
with, a brash young beau like himself, someone understanding to
whom he could lament, “Isn’t Boo-Boo a square? And
Huckleberry Hound! What a downer!” Too bad Fred ““ that
hunk with the ascot from “Scooby Doo” ““ was stuck
helming the Mystery Mobile and avoiding unwanted advances from
Daphne.

Peppermint Patty and Marcy While Sally was
courting Linus, while Lucy was stalking Schroeder, and while
Charlie Brown was pining for his little red-headed girl, two
longtime denizens of the “Peanuts” universe had been
living in committed bliss, a relationship well under the radar of
their playpals. Peppermint Patty and Marcy were the quintessential
cartoon lesbian couple, a pair of lovebirds who wouldn’t let
their respective eccentricities stand in the way of romance.
Peppermint Patty was a genius athletically (a stereotype, I know,
but this was the ’60s). Sure Lucy could snatch away the
football just as Charlie was going to kick it, sure she could call
him a blockhead, but Patty … Patty could pummel the boys fair and
square, and she was always a good sport, ready with a friendly sock
in the shoulder and a “Better luck next time, fellas.”
And there was Marcy, always on the sidelines with a heavy tome (who
do you think helped Charlie Brown with his book report on
“War and Peace”?). She was Patty’s support
system, her best bud, and the perfect brainy counterpart to
Patty’s unabashed brawn. Although Patty was a little
controlling at times ““ and hey, who isn’t? ““
Marcy indulged her coyly. She may have called Patty
“Sir” in front of their friends, but I’m sure
they had cuter pet names for each other when reading and rugby were
momentarily put aside.

Bugs Bunny Okay, you’ll have to indulge
me here, and I promise to be brief. But, c’mon, no toon has
donned sexier drag and kissed more of his male nemeses in cartoon
history. Not only was he foxy in a dress, but Bugs used his sex
appeal to out-savvy Elmer Fudd every time, disarming him with a big
ol’ smooch (lipstick perfectly applied, of course). Bugs was
a real role model for future gay activists, a guy who wasn’t
afraid to confront his foes with what they feared most. A bunny in
a dress is freaky, but a gay bunny in a dress kissing you? Bugs
knew what he was doing, and Elmer always ended up down a deep, deep
rabbit hole, with only rage and a pile of carrots to keep him
company. So thank you to all those fearless toons who paved the
way. I know I left some of you out (the Care Bears, Smithers, Smee,
Snap, Crackle, and possibly Pop, although I hear he only swings at
parties), but you’re each in our eternal debt for making TV
land safe for all toons: gay or straight, man or beast, He-man or
She-ra. You brought new truth to the stereotype that gay people are
animated, and you did it with style and grace.