Most summer movies weren’t worth that $9

  David Holmberg Holmberg would rather
pretend that this summer never existed, but if you wish to remind
him of it, you can contact him at [email protected].
Click Here for more articles by David Holmberg

They came from above. And from below. And from every darkened
corner they crept, some silently, others waking the whole country
with their raucous onslaught. Evacuate the cities, women and
children first! They’ll suck your mind and your wallet,
leaving you with nothing except a two hour hole in your life from
which you’ll never recover. Beware … the Summer
Blockbuster! With that said, let’s take a look back at the
last three and a half months, at the joys and sorrows, the ups and
downs, but primarily at the general garbage that was strewn across
the screens of summer.

Best Use of Angelina Jolie: “Tomb
Raider” If nothing else, “Tomb Raider”
was entertaining. Well, there really was nothing else, but it did
satisfy any cravings for a mindless good time that summer audiences
so vehemently desire. The film claimed to be merely an
action-filled breast-fest, and it delivered on both accounts. Jolie
proved her worth as the best female action star since Sigourney
Weaver took on otherworldly threats in the “Alien”
series. Hopefully this is not the last we’ll see of her as an
action star.

Worst Use of Angelina Jolie: “Original
Sin” Originally set to be released in February, it
is doubtful that anyone would have minded if this Antonio
Banderas-Angelina Jolie vehicle had been delayed indefinitely.
Claiming to be a breast-fest of sorts, “Original Sin”
offered little in this department and virtually nothing else by way
of story, if that’s your sort of thing. Instead the film is
full of plot holes and inconsistencies, leaving even the most
undemanding viewer painfully dissatisfied. For a movie declaring to
be about “Original Sin,” it was much too tame for
today’s jaded audiences.

Biggest Let-Down: “A.I” Once again,
Spielberg took a conventional approach to an unconventional
story.

It Could Have Been Worse … But Not Much:
“Jurassic Park 3″ Michael Crichton’s
original “Jurassic Park” novel was highly entertaining,
Spielberg’s first film did not quite measure up, his sequel
slipped even more, and by the time this third installment arrived
it is rather unsurprising that the series has been reduced to a
predictable and flimsy one-dimensional action flick. At least the
series has been a gradual let-down, so let’s just hope this
is the final time those computer-animated dinosaurs demolish that
poor tropical island.

Comedy That Should Have Been Better But Was Still Worth
Watching: “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” If
anyone other than Kevin Smith had made this movie, it may have been
a cult masterpiece. But, given that Smith is a veteran master at
making cult masterpieces, “Jay and Silent Bob Strike
Back” is rather low on his totem pole of classics. There is
no point in listing the film’s faults, because there are
many, but ultimately the movie is hilarious, and worth seeing if
only to hear the wonderfully obscene amount of swearing.

Best and Biggest Surprise: “Moulin
Rouge” Although it arrived early in the deluge of
summer films, “Moulin Rouge” was undoubtedly the best
of the major studio films to be released. Baz Luhrmann’s
picture was everything a film should be, with spectacular visuals,
superb acting and an energy unmatched in most modern films. Most
surprising was its successful use of musical numbers, which worked
because of the entirely fictional world in which the story existed.
Months after its release, it is still the most memorable film of
the past months, even if its box office intake was less than
spectacular.