Experiences draw out different elements of truth

  Jason Chen Chen was the assistant art
director from 2000-2001.

The world is a crazy place. Now draw it. Working on a piece of
art for me was not so easy all the time. I know what it should look
like; I can see it in my head. But it does not come out the way I
want it to and I erase it and start over again … and again.

Pretty soon I see etchings of drawings before, of my past
mistakes mixed with pieces of accomplishments. It becomes muddled
and I erase it, until the paper becomes raw with eraser dust all
over the place. I have to start over again. Boo. Thumbs down.

What am I talking about? I’m a physiological science
major, what the heck do I know about art? Or maybe I am an artist
who has no clue about science. Talk about identity crisis. At any
rate, I still found myself being the assistant art director for the
Daily Bruin. Among other things, that is who I am.

Like my drawings, I elicit many questions. Why do I draw one eye
bigger than the other? Why am I so crazy? So the line of inquiry
goes. And like my drawings, I am one collection of past etchings,
although you can only see one picture at any present time. Who is
the true Jason Chen? You cannot say from just this column. You
might not really care either.

Working at the Daily Bruin taught me about the different issues
and problems in the world: all these articles, photos and art try
to show different elements of information and truth. Like those
drawings and images that I try to fix or erase, all of these views
and ideas just come on to the page.

Just when you think that things are one way, something comes
along to make you think twice. You have an idea of what an art
piece should look like, but after the issue manifests itself, it
comes out totally differently.

I might say to myself things should be a certain way, but if
everything in the world went the way they were supposed to there
wouldn’t be any problems. And so the paper becomes crappy
again, eraser dust all over.

I’ve messed up plenty, at times when I had no excuse and
at times where things were out of my control. There are also plenty
of times when I could have written an article on the injustices and
wrongs done to others and me in life. There are plenty of times
people could have written those things about me. There are many
things to be fixed, to be erased, and to be made better.

And so my paper becomes raw with all the erasings and redrawn
images of who I should be, to the point where I want to rip it up,
put it in a box, put that in a bigger box, then mail it to myself
and then burn it.

What or who is going to make the picture look the way it should?
I have found it is God who makes the picture look right. Not with a
big eraser, but by sending down a picture-perfect life, to be
ripped and torn apart as if it were like mine so that we can be
seen the way we should be.

I know this guy. I have found Him but still I am looking for
Him. I guess knowing Christ is like knowing a person, like knowing
Jason Chen. I’m not an idea or a concept, you have get to
know me, and it will probably take a lifetime to figure me out. So
what about this guy named Jesus? Am I saying that He will solve all
my problems, and all the problems of the world?

Like I said, the world is a crazy place. But my hope is in Him,
since He is the way, the truth and the life; showing and directing
me toward that perfect picture that I could never seem to make.