Ladies, it’s high time you became friends with your clitoris

  Chez Shadman Shadman is a third-year
international development studies student. E-mail her your
questions and comments at [email protected] Click
Here for more articles by Chez Shadman

For those of you who are experienced in the art of sex and all
its forms, this article will sound redundant because it is not for
you. In fact, it is your inspiration that has made this article
possible. Now, for all of you inexperienced women this article may
help spice up your life just a bit. That is, of course, if you are
permitting. Warning: if the words “penis,”
“clitoris” and “masturbation” make you even
the tiniest bit uncomfortable then you must read on in an attempt
to overcome these fears.

In my experience with talking to most women, the phrase “I
had an orgasm” is seldom heard. In fact, the word orgasm is
often used by women when talking about men. If you can relate to
this, then let me introduce you to a very special friend with whom
you need to be better acquainted: your clitoris.

You know, that little ball of tissue that protrudes from your
vaginal lips when aroused? You might want to name her (mine is
named Sheera, and she’s my best friend). Now let me ask
you something. How often do you hang out with your clitoris? How
often do you allow others to hang out with your clitoris? Not
nearly enough, I bet.

I have to take this time to commend guys. I sincerely find
their continuous efforts at pleasing themselves remarkable and
highly impressive. Their arduous determination should serve as a
model for the way in which we should all behave. I realize it is
widely accepted for men, but not women, to be sexually promiscuous.
This is made evident by the prevalence of male orgasms and lack of
female orgasms. This, however, doesn’t have to be the
case.

Women are more independent today then they have ever been! So
why aren’t we having frequent orgasms yet? This obviously has
something to do with society’s norms.

Unfortunately, the female anatomy has not become a common topic
for discussion. Sure, we hear about the penis and even the vagina
all the time. The only problem is that while sex can give a man an
orgasm, it doesn’t really do it for a woman. Yes ladies, the
key to an orgasm does not lie in the penis. It lies in the
clitoris.

For those of you not familiar with the clitoris, I’ll let
you in on a nice little secret. The clitoris is the female
equivalent to the penis. It’s made up of the same tissue and
it has the same nerve endings. The difference between the two
““ and ladies, you are going to love this ““ is that the
clitoris has a more concentrated area of nerve endings, making it a
very sensitive and highly erotic pleasure zone.

How is it that we, as women, have such a powerful sexual tool
literally right under our noses (by about two feet) and we still
complain about how our last orgasm was July of the prior year? We
can’t solely rely on the act of sex ““ no matter what
position ““ as our only source of sexual stimulation.

While sex can be a highly pleasurable experience, despite the
lack of orgasms, it’s not our final destination.

If you are still waiting for the elusive orgasm brought on by a
penis or vibrator, you might be waiting a long time. The vaginal
orgasm, though a nice fantasy, is exactly that: a fantasy. The
reason we were even led to believe that we could achieve an orgasm
through sex in the first place was because men achieve it this
way.

As women, our sexuality has thus been defined in terms of what
pleases men. No studies were done in the past to discover what it
was that pleased a woman.

Of course, with much research done on the clitoris today, it has
become common knowledge that it is the female’s most
erogenous zone. In fact, the clitoris is the only organ through
which a woman can achieve an orgasm.

If you’re not too familiar with the orgasm, you might want
to try to experience one on your own. This can be done, like
it does rather often for men, through masturbation. Your index and
middle finger (a.k.a. your other best friends) are a surefire way
to get your juices flowing. They are everywhere you are: in the
shower, in your bed, in public bathrooms ““ yeah, I said that.
Masturbation should be a part of everyday, or even bi-daily, life.
Women have been sexually repressed far too long. We need to defy
the norms set upon us by society, and masturbation is a great form
of liberation.

Now that you are better acquainted with your clitoris, you
should make sure that your partner becomes better acquainted with
it as well. Intimate relationships are about give and take. It is
far too easy for a person to fall into the submissive role in
relationship. Equality in the bedroom is a very important issue.
Your erogenous zones need just as much love as your
partner’s, so make sure he or she is well acquainted with
your clitoris. Of course, if you enjoy the submissive role, more
power to you.

Orgasms with a partner can be brought on in two different ways.
The first is through oral sex. This is a great technique because it
allows you to relax and let your mind wander while your partner is
pleasuring you. The second is through clitoral stimulation
during sex. While your partner thrusts a penis or dildo inside you,
have him or her rub your clitoris.

You can also choose to stimulate your own clitoris, which can
turn your partner on and add to his or her experience.

Of course, just knowing how to orgasm is not nearly enough.
Sure, a purely physical orgasm can feel great, but there can be so
much more to an orgasm. The more sexually aroused you are prior to
your orgasm, the better it will be. You can heighten your
level of arousal with many different techniques.

Whether you enjoy a good spanking, a few filthy words here and
there or the doggy-style position, there are people and stores that
can help you. I know that for some, such ideas may seem
risqué, but if you really want have a good sex life, I
strongly suggest exploring these options.

It is understandable why women today are still very timid about
sex. Society has placed a big taboo on female sexuality in the
past, resulting in a lot of female sexual repression today.
However, we are now living in a world where sex is a headlining
issue and where the taboos on female sexuality are diminishing.
This works only because more and more women are defying
society’s norms and instating their own. An increasing number
of women are becoming sexually liberated and this should empower
still more women to do the same.

Remember, the orgasm is only one form of liberation. Do not rely
on the orgasm as your only source of sexual pleasure. When you
focus on the final effect of any sexual experience, you run the
risk of rushing past or denying yourself all the more subtle
pleasures along the way.

All those subtle pleasures can add to your orgasm. If you just
take the time to handcuff your partner to the bedpost or dress up
in that Wonder Woman costume, you can turn sex into an
adventure.

The orgasm is a very important tool. It adds to our happiness as
well as our sanity. Granted, for some, it is still a very new
aspect of life, or even one not quite discovered yet, but once you
become more comfortable with the act, your sexual experience will
be that much better.

Women, the clitoris is the greatest gift evolution ever gave us
and because of society we don’t use it nearly enough. It is
high time we started setting our own standards rather than allowing
a conservative, male-dominated society do it for us.